Chronicles of a Relapsing Dieter


I sat on my couch and felt like a sinner. Perhaps I was. I transgressed against the ancient code of dieting. Ice cream. Yes, I totally sinned.

And to make things worse, I complained to JD about my lack of will power. He assured me that, really, it’s okay. As soon as I began rationalizing my dietary mishap, he said, And, besides, I like my wife how I like my milkshakes: thick. Oh dear lord, I started running laps around our living room. Panic driven sprints, if you will.

I guess I’ve been consumed lately because we’re going on vacation in less than a month. Vacation = Swimsuit = Panic Driven Sprints. I’m definitely in desperation mode because I work out at least four times a week, eat decently (vegetarians, unite!), and drink water exclusively, but——I cannot give up sweets. Like, really, I simply will die if I don’t eat something sweet after dinner. And this becomes a problem if a person is trying to shed unwanted pounds. Or, in my case, unwanted kilos.

So, in a last ditch attempt to keep it real, I’m blogging for accountability. If you’re a family member or friend and see me sneaking a few bites of dessert, please pinch my belly. If you’re a blog reader and cross my path while I’m eating something with inordinate amounts of sugar, please ask me how my swimsuit search is faring. And if you’re a stranger and see a small rectangular box from the Cheesecake Factory in my hand, please feel free to trip me.

And to make my weight loss endeavors sweeter (no pun intended), JD and I are competing to determine who can lose the most body fat percentage before we leave on our vacation. My prize is so juicy I simply must win…and then I can blog all about it!! In the meantime, I’ve been sending unhealthy snacks to work with JD…you know, just to make sure I win!

I’m so evil.

Just in case I get the urge to fall off the bandwagon, I found this frozen yougurt…I’m hoping it’ll keep me on track. Zero fat, and a mere 100 calories per serving. It’s no Ben&Jerry’s, but I’m hoping it’ll suffice…

Please feel free to leave dessert-substitute suggestions in the comment box…and please be warned: FRUIT IS NOT A DESSERT. I tried on countless occasions to convince myself of this notion, but, really, a kumquat just doesn’t cut it! 😉