Far Away From Aspen

Far Away From Aspen

Personal

I don’t particularly think they were different. Sure, my father spoke with a heavy accent and my mother still embraced her East LA hippie ways, but they were pretty average parents. Or at least I assumed so in the spectrum of parents at Parent/Teacher Night my freshman year of high school. We arrived as a family, but I somehow managed to slip away from the pack before they talked to my teachers.

I sat in the quad and watched from a distance as my parents looked lost and overwhelmed, my father pushing a stroller and my mom’s thick red hair pulled back in a bun. I looked away and pretended not to see. Unlike other kids who might have been embarrassed by what their parents did or said, I was embarrassed of who my parents were.

Writing this makes my fingers ache.

For so long, I wanted to crawl out of my brown skin and be someone else. Belong elsewhere. A place I spent years imagining from all the books I read, complete with boarding schools, a vacation home in Aspen, and LL Bean catalogues. A place where our dented family van didn’t quite fit.

Later that night my father stood in front of my bedroom door and asked what he did wrong. He asked why I didn’t want to stand at his side when teachers proffered glowing words for his daughter’s work. He said his father was a drunk and disappeared from his life and explained he was doing his best without really knowing how fathers act.

I think back to this moment. Often. If I could turn back time, I’d slap the 14-year-old in the quad and tell her to walk upright next to her immigrant father and hippie mother. Little did I realize long rides in our dented family van shaped who I became and the destiny of my life. Far away from Aspen.

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  1. Autumn Teesdale -

    I think every teenager goes thru that phase but as long as you grew out of it, is what matters! Sadly, some people never grow out of it and they treat their parents like crap…those are the ones that need a slappin! Not you!

      5.24.11 - 4:13 pm

  2. Natasha Hurley -

    Jasmine as ever, although we have never met and live a million miles apart, I can relate. Growing up in Wales, in a single parent family, with hand-me-down clothes, home made bread rolls and no TV I wanted to be someone else. But looking back, I am so grateful. My mum did things the hard way, but I hope that some of her strength and ability not to care what the status quo may be as rubbed off. As ever thanks for sharing. x

      5.24.11 - 4:23 pm

  3. Eileen -

    This brought tears to my eyes. They are lucky to have you as a daughter!

      5.24.11 - 4:24 pm

  4. Tyrone P. Easley II -

    Very powerful post and I commend you for opening up and writing it. As kids we don’t know what things to appreciate sometimes until we experience life and look back. Those people in with vacation homes in Aspen are not perfect and would love to have a caring parent instead of wood and brick.
    You just gained even more respect from me Mrs. Jasmine Star.

      5.24.11 - 4:25 pm

  5. LEOLAK -

    Wow…thanks for sharing such a personal story as this. The feelings of wanting to belong or feeling like you don’t measure up to others can be tough – especially as a teenager. It’s great when you realize that you who you are and what you’ve been through shapes who you become b/c it’s all in what you make of it. Your parents I am sure are extremely proud of you, and I liked that your dad talked to you about things – so many don’t do that. Thanks again.

      5.24.11 - 4:25 pm

  6. Suzy Garland -

    Simple beautiful. Very raw, very moving. Wonderful encouragement to so may out there.

      5.24.11 - 4:29 pm

  7. Lorrie Prothero -

    awww – tears this morning. Your parents really are amazing. I’ve never met them but I think of them often. Funny who we used to think our parents were so embarrassing.

      5.24.11 - 4:32 pm

  8. Sarajane Case -

    This made me cry. I understand.

      5.24.11 - 4:36 pm

  9. Candace Prokopets -

    Beautiful. Love the honest vulnerability. That’s why everyone loves you.

      5.24.11 - 4:41 pm

  10. Kristen -

    This made me cry!

      5.24.11 - 4:41 pm

  11. Lupe Ruiz -

    aww…this actually made me tear up. THAAAANKS! LOL…I sooo understand where you’re coming from. I felt the same way when I was in middle school about being Mexican. I so wish I lived in another city where the girls all had blonde hair and fancy houses. I, too, wish I could slap myself back then! But it totally shaped who we are today. BROWN AND PROUD!! LOL πŸ™‚

      5.24.11 - 4:43 pm

  12. Andrea -

    Oh Jasmine.. you have a way with words that make me break down with the first word of touchings posts. Our stories have so many similarities (still working on the superstar photographer part). I wish that wisdom didn’t take so long to reach us. I adore my parents so much, and after I had children, I am forever indebted to them.

      5.24.11 - 4:48 pm

  13. Damaris Mia -

    Touching. Makes me look back on times when I was embarrassed because of things my parents may have said because they too were immigrants and it hurts πŸ™

      5.24.11 - 4:51 pm

  14. Ashley Motes -

    This is beautiful….

      5.24.11 - 4:51 pm

  15. Jen -

    Beautifully written.

      5.24.11 - 4:53 pm

  16. Lila Purdy -

    Great post. My mother always told me I would never understand her until I had kids of my own. I remember the first time my son told me to stay across the street while he waited at the bus stop. He did not want me there because he was a "big boy". I also remember when he asked me in a polite way if I could call him by his name and not the nicknames I had for him. All I can say is that I find comfort in that one day he will understand me when he has kids.

      5.24.11 - 4:55 pm

  17. jennifer little -

    amazing.

      5.24.11 - 4:55 pm

  18. Dawn Regan -

    You’re so beautiful and honest. I love this; I love you!

      5.24.11 - 4:58 pm

  19. Betty Martinez -

    So true! Im an immigrant myself and mother of two teenagers(girls). I live in a very affluent area of O.C. and my daughters struggle everyday to fit in, by the way, we are not rich which makes it harder on them…But Im sure, just like you did that my daughters will find their way and they apreciate everything they have and never take anything for granted…Thanks for sharing, it really touch my heart!

      5.24.11 - 5:00 pm

  20. Yadira Laguerre -

    The moment I often think about is when my father offered to throw me a HS graduation party (he was so proud) and my response was, "I can’t fit all my friends in this house!" He was hurt, but laughed it off. We’re so dense as teens. I’m grateful that I got the chance to appreciate my daddy and spent lots of quality time with him as an adult while he was still here. xoxo thank you for sharing xoxo

      5.24.11 - 5:01 pm

  21. Betsy King -

    This is good stuff.

      5.24.11 - 5:02 pm

  22. francine -

    thanks for sharing, jasmine! i can only imagine that it must be hard to be so transparent in front of your hundreds of blog readers. truth and life experiences are powerful tools that you use that are now benefiting us all. thank you so much.

      5.24.11 - 5:02 pm

  23. Jennifer Jar -

    Wow, your story really spoke to me Jasmine. I used to feel the same way when I was younger. Why was I born Chinese? Why can’t my parents speak English and be like everyone else? But I wouldn’t trade my life or my family for anything in the world.

      5.24.11 - 5:03 pm

  24. Rachel Merchand Abplanalp -

    Beautifully written<3

      5.24.11 - 5:03 pm

  25. Irela -

    Jasmine…..this has brought (literally) tears to my eyes. I am at work reading this post with a knot in my throat. Your words touched home. Coming from an immigrant family too….I know too well of the hardships. Your words touched me. You are a beautiful person……your words tell it all. (I hope you don’t mind that I shared this post on my FB ) <3<3<3

      5.24.11 - 5:04 pm

  26. Nicole Mehl -

    Thank you for this post, I can relate in a lot of ways. God Bless.

      5.24.11 - 5:05 pm

  27. Laura Fiore -

    Beautifully written, and I agree with so many others, that most teenagers go through those years…and most adults are remorseful looking back years later. Don’t you know those kids in Aspen were also embarrassed by who their parents were?
    Your parents know how much you love them now, and that is what matters most!

      5.24.11 - 5:07 pm

  28. Kate Neal -

    Crying at work. #Fail. Love this Jasmine!

      5.24.11 - 5:08 pm

  29. Anahy -

    That’s beautiful Jasmine. I’m glad you came to your senses. I want to go back in time and slap that girl too..with love of course. :-p

      5.24.11 - 5:11 pm

  30. Gail -

    A sniffle and one of my favorite (all-too-appropriate) quotes:

    "You don’t choose your family. They are God’s gift to you, as you are to them.” β€” Bishop Desmond Tutu

      5.24.11 - 5:11 pm

  31. Romonia Isaac -

    Another reason why I love you, you stay true to who you are. I love this post and the meaning behind it. Thanks for sharing J*.

      5.24.11 - 5:12 pm

  32. Jacqueline Lopez -

    That’s right Girl, be proud of who you are. This post blesses my heart. I know ur parents, they are beautiful people, salt of the earth, and so are you!
    "Stay Brown" πŸ™‚

      5.24.11 - 5:13 pm

  33. Rachel Tatem -

    So often we do things in our youth that haunts us for years to come. The best thing about that is you can further appreciate who your parents are and who you are now. If you didn’t do what you have done, you wouldn’t be who you are now, nor who you will be. It is through the tears we define our lives, make choices. I can more than fully empathize with your disparity of actions in your youth.

      5.24.11 - 5:14 pm

  34. Sandra Fazzino -

    Same here. Tears. My dad was embarrassed of his immigrant parents and I being a generation removed was proud of our heritage… Your father and mother are so so so so good. I love reading about them. And I love that he noticed your behavior that day and brought it up that evening. And I love the honesty. I think – no – I know – we’ll be reading a Jasmine Star novel someday. ; )

      5.24.11 - 5:16 pm

  35. Laura Stricklin -

    Beautiful J*….just beautiful!

      5.24.11 - 5:21 pm

  36. Brianna Widen -

    I just got a little teary. Huge hugs for putting it all out there.! It makes you so much more beautiful to know that you too, have made mistakes!

      5.24.11 - 5:23 pm

  37. Mallory -

    Tears…..

      5.24.11 - 5:23 pm

  38. April Merrick -

    I was an average white kid so there was really no need for the way I treated my parents. I so longed for the type of relationship that all the tv families had or the ones I read about in books. Y’know. Those where their parents were their best friends and they could talk about anything. I know now, I really needed to cut my parents some slack. Neither of them came from families that were comfortable with acknowledging emotions or how to deal with them. My grandmother beat my mother over the dumbest things and my grandfather taught my dad to close down all emotions. I should have seen how blessed I was that my parents were following a different path. They weren’t perfect but I didn’t help matters much. I wish I could go back and take back all the times I didn’t show them the thanks they really deserved.

      5.24.11 - 5:29 pm

  39. Kimberly -

    Moments of humility are so hard to admit. Thanks for your honesty.

      5.24.11 - 5:37 pm

  40. Lerissa -

    Well SAID Jasmine…a lesson we often learn too late.

      5.24.11 - 5:38 pm

  41. Tanya Petraglia -

    Just beautiful…

      5.24.11 - 5:51 pm

  42. John Payne -

    Ugh. I think we’ve all been there no matter what the family background is. It’s sickening to go back and think about those moments, but important too. Thanks for sharing that Jasmine. Very moving.

      5.24.11 - 5:56 pm

  43. Shauna Gutierrez -

    I think this is the most beautiful post you’ve ever written.
    And if it’s any consolation, I think everyone wishes they could smack the 14-year-old version of themselves in the face.

      5.24.11 - 5:56 pm

  44. Michael Johnson -

    I have long believed you can tell a lot about someone by their children and you are bright, caring and successful. I bet they are extremely proud of you and I know that you are proud of them.

      5.24.11 - 5:59 pm

  45. steph -

    Oh Jasmine! You may want to slap yourself, but I want to hug you! Measures of grace and mercy as deep and wide as the Pacific have been extended to you! And, ironically, I’ve always wished I was latina! πŸ˜‰

      5.24.11 - 6:04 pm

  46. Life with Kaishon -

    God gives us just the perfect parents for us, doesn’t he? I always wanted a dad that wore a suit and tie every day. I thought that would be the coolest kind of Dad. I didn’t like his work uniform. I didn’t like that he worked 3 jobs and saved money so he could put us through college. I didn’t. But now, as I look back and see all that he sacrificed for us, I cry. He is turning 60 on Sunday, and he is the the very best man in the whole wide world.

      5.24.11 - 6:05 pm

  47. Kira Noble -

    I had chills while reading this. I can relate, what a beautiful reflection.

      5.24.11 - 6:14 pm

  48. clarissa -

    Your post brought tears to my eyes, just so honest and beautiful.

      5.24.11 - 6:14 pm

  49. Julie Stephenson -

    in a word—perfect.

      5.24.11 - 6:17 pm

  50. Dharmesh -

    I love this post. I have thought of moments where I could have behaved and expressed differently to show my love for them. It’s never too late though..

      5.24.11 - 6:20 pm

  51. Rita Quinn -

    In TEARS right now!! I can completely relate, having my own hippie mom and thrift store clothes. Thanks so much for your heartfelt and authentic reflections on how life shapes us. {Heart} you!

      5.24.11 - 6:32 pm

  52. Rebecca Gillis -

    There are so many things I wish I could tell my teenage self. First and foremost being to spend more time with family πŸ™‚

      5.24.11 - 6:36 pm

  53. Nicki Henne -

    blinking back tears… You are always open and honest but this is RAW Thank you for sharing. For those of us who still have our parents – use this opportunity to say thank you for all they did and take the time to say sorry for anything you’ve been holding on to. Thanks J*

      5.24.11 - 6:40 pm

  54. rich -

    so beautifully written and powerful at the same time.

      5.24.11 - 7:03 pm

  55. Noa -

    Thanks for sharing with us, Jas. We all carry some emotional baggage from our childhood, thanks for being so honest and real. **HUGS**!

      5.24.11 - 7:08 pm

  56. ali -

    Jasmine, your posts are always worth reading, every time. But this one, it’s stunning. Thank you.

      5.24.11 - 7:12 pm

  57. Juanita -

    Thank you so much for sharing. This brought tears to my eyes. Growing up I too was ashamed of who my family was. And now looking back I want to shake the younger version of me silly!

      5.24.11 - 7:20 pm

  58. cory -

    I love your post Jasmine! I have often wished I could go back in time and slap my smart alec young self. Too often we go through life longing for something other than what we already have instead of appreciating what blessings God gave us that shape us into who we are. Thank you for the reminder πŸ™‚

      5.24.11 - 7:51 pm

  59. Michelle Edgerton Photography -

    Wow, Jasmine! This is so touching, I got chills as I read it. You clearly not only have a way with the camera but with words as well. It is amazing how much our parents affect out lives and how little we realize it at the time. Thank you for sharing this.

      5.24.11 - 8:00 pm

  60. ashley barnett -

    Beautifully written. I think every child feels this way about their parents, no matter where they came from or who they are. I remember begging my mom to drop me off so no one would see me with her, and I will never forget the time my parents showed up to a concert to drag me out since I was past curfew (oops). Definitely not the finest daughter/father moment, but it taught me a lot about how to give and earn respect.

      5.24.11 - 8:07 pm

  61. colleen -

    I’m crying right now. I, too, like so many of your readers and you, grew up with immigrant parents who barely spoke English. I, too, tired to hide. And now? It’s 13 yrs since I lost my dear Momma and 4 yrs since I lost my Daddy (both this week). They gave me everything….from appreciation of what it meant to be a true American…to understanding hard work can make dreams come true. Thank you for so elegantly stating what so many of us feel in our hearts. Or, as my parents would have said…Vielen Dank liebe Jasmine!

      5.24.11 - 8:15 pm

  62. michelle -

    Jasmine, I completely feel you. My mom is an immigrant and has an accent and I was completely horrified to have her speak to anyone I knew. As a 36 yr old, I can’t even believe I was so stupidly ashamed of her and my heritage- something i am so proud of today. Her courage and what she fights for now make me a better person. Now we proudly march hand in hand in immigration rallies πŸ˜‰

      5.24.11 - 8:23 pm

  63. Silvana -

    WOW thanks for being so honest Jasmine. Just beautiful.

      5.24.11 - 8:30 pm

  64. Tonya -

    You brought tears to my eyes. I’m that parent, right now, wanting to provide the world for my kids but unable to and feeling bad that they don’t have what I want to give them. And your words touch me in two ways, but the most deepest is knowing that as you are, they too will grow up and be okay. As your parents shaped you, I am shaping them….not ruining their lives.

      5.24.11 - 8:34 pm

  65. Brooke -

    Most teenagers want something else, someone else, or to be someone else. Thank you for sharing, this is real.

      5.24.11 - 8:40 pm

  66. Columbus GA Wedding Photographer | Nathan -

    Pretty honest stuff. I can remember a few situations in my childhood that were pretty similar. We live and we grow and our now better people because of the situations we have come through and overcome. Great stuff Jstar.

      5.24.11 - 9:06 pm

  67. Heather Corporan -

    Good for you Jas for speaking so transparently the words most of us stuff deep down somewhere, knowing quite honestly we’re ashamed of the thoughts we’ve had about our lives and parents/family etc. I can 100% identify with how you felt as a youngin (not the brown skin thing, I was wishing just the opposite lol) Crazy white girl, I know. But in retrospect, you are absolutely right, our ‘dents’ make us who we are, for better or worse. Now that I’m a momma myself, although my parents and I may still not see eye to eye about everything, I can totally understand ‘most’ of their ways and appreciate all of ‘their’ dents too : ) Your honesty is lovely!

      5.24.11 - 9:12 pm

  68. Matt -

    Jas,
    Being a parent of 3 adult kids I completely understand your father’s feeling of embarrassment. I always thought my kids were embarrassed of their blue-collared father. Like you dad, it never stopped me from being at every play, rehearsal, soccer practice, awards ceremony, and parent teacher conference. I loved them too much not to go. Now I look back and understand they were just being kids.

      5.24.11 - 9:15 pm

  69. Melissa -

    This made me cry, I know if I could go back in time and smack the younger me I would. If we only knew what amazing people were bringing us up and how fast that time would fly by. I would give anything to turn the clocks back and really take the time to appreciate, respect, and soak up the love & encouragement that my parents offered me. Fortunate they still have my back and I am now older, wiser, and so much more appreciative of what they do on a daily basis. And on that note I am off to call them and tell them I love them. πŸ™‚

      5.24.11 - 9:19 pm

  70. Erin Davenport -

    Aaand you’re making me teary again. I know you hear it all the time but your writing and sharing are such gifts to those who follow. xoxo

      5.24.11 - 9:39 pm

  71. Aimee -

    Last night I was watching one of the first episodes of Modern Family on Vudu. At the beginning of the episode they asked all the dads, "What do you think makes for a good father?" The answer ended up being: "90% of being a good dad is showing up." Here’s to all the dads who showed up to all the little (and big) things – even when we were unappreciative brats!

      5.24.11 - 10:27 pm

  72. Amber DeCicco -

    Thank you for sharing your heart. And always being true to who you are!! I love reading and following your blog!

      5.24.11 - 10:39 pm

  73. Jess -

    wow. very emotional

      5.24.11 - 10:48 pm

  74. danielle acken -

    yup…I cried too. Absolutely beautiful. Just like you – the glorious product of an immigrant father and hippie mother – they must have been a match made in heaven.

      5.24.11 - 10:55 pm

  75. Alexis -

    That was beautiful, Jasmine!

    I applaud your bravery and honesty in writing such a personal piece.

    May God continue to abundantly bless and protect you and your family!

      5.24.11 - 10:58 pm

  76. stephanie -

    Jasmine,you make me want to be a better person. You are a beautiful soul.

      5.24.11 - 11:22 pm

  77. Sara Lando -

    thankyou so much for sharing this Jasmine, for being so honest, real and raw.
    I come from a simple family and I can relate to that feeling. And to the shame of having been ashamed.
    My parents are the people I admired the most, now. Everything I know about being honest, being real and not compromising my identity and my values, I know from them

      5.24.11 - 11:26 pm

  78. Gris -

    This was a such a beautiful and powerful post Jasmine. It hit so close to home for me. I look back now and feel the same way, my parents gave up so much for me. Now I dread the day when my own children are embarrased by me, I hope they skip that phase. Thank you for sharing.

      5.24.11 - 11:38 pm

  79. WeddingSnapper -

    I love your honesty!

      5.25.11 - 12:13 am

  80. Shannon Karczewski -

    Tears in my eyes. I can relate on so many levels. Not because my father is an immigrant. He’s not. But because we were poor. I wore palmetto jeans while my friends wore guess. I wore pro wings while my friends wore Nike. I rode in my parents’ big old van while my friends rode in style. There were days we came home from school and the lights were out because the bill hadn’t been paid. Or the water wouldn’t run…for the same reason. Times when food in the fridge was like a luxury rather than something that filled a basic need. But I am proud of my parents. I am proud of the person I am…the person my brother is. We wouldn’t be who we are without some of the adversity he and I faced. So…this really struck a nerve for me.

      5.25.11 - 12:20 am

  81. Janel KG -

    Aaaaw… You made me tear up today.

      5.25.11 - 1:01 am

  82. Sebastian Joel -

    Im realizing this more and more J

      5.25.11 - 1:27 am

  83. Lateisha -

    Wow. Your photography is beautiful. But your words… they are utterly beautiful. Thanks for sharing. =)

      5.25.11 - 2:07 am

  84. Lymarie -

    Hey J! Your experience really touched me, to the point of tears. I believe that everyone is shaped by their parents. Once we are old enough to decipher, we choose between the good and the bad. I chose the good!

      5.25.11 - 2:13 am

  85. Jordanne Fallon -

    this brought tears to my eyes… I understand the feeling, and I couldn’t be prouder of who my family is… we’ve worked hard for what we have, and I’ve brought that into my own life now… Thank you for sharing.

      5.25.11 - 2:26 am

  86. Carol -

    This post made me cry, because once upon a time I was that 14 yr old as well, embarrassed of who her parents were, and I feel like a horrible person for it, because I couldn’t have asked for better parents. THANK YOU so much for sharing …

      5.25.11 - 4:46 am

  87. Ernest @ wedding favors -

    The post is really moving. Sigh!

    The uniqueness of the photography is there. Simple yet eye catching.

      5.25.11 - 5:25 am

  88. Yuliya Molitvenik -

    Jasmine, thank you for posting this. I still have to slap myself at times for wanting to be someone else and belong to different parents. It’s hard to be an immigrant and always have to explain my accent, maybe someone I’ll get over it.

      5.25.11 - 6:18 am

  89. shani -

    Now that I have kids of my own, I wonder how they’re going to look at me and what they’ll think of me when they realise I have faults, weaknesses, and in general, am not as perfect as they think I am now (they’re YOUNG still) and I think of my parents, and what I thought of them – and my hope is, that even thought they might think the worst, I A. won’t be offended, and B. one day they’ll realise I did my best.
    Thank you Jasmine for being so open and sending me to bed with food for thought. night!

      5.25.11 - 7:13 am

  90. Christiana -

    argh! tears, like always at your words..xxx

      5.25.11 - 7:53 am

  91. Jessica Sweeney -

    I’ve commented before on your ability to be vulnerable here. Each time I find it astounding and inspiring. I would love to be even half as honest some day.

      5.25.11 - 8:05 am

  92. Karin -

    I know everyone else is going to right the same…. but you almost made me cry. Such a personal and touching blog post. Thank you so much for being who you are.

      5.25.11 - 8:21 am

  93. Michelle Koekemoer -

    Hi Jas We all had moments like that. Once we grow up and realize just how much our parents sacrificed in order for us to have a better shot at success than they ever had, we want to hang our heads in shame. But, wonderfully, they understand. That is the miracle of unconditional love; something you will only get from God, your parents and your dog

      5.25.11 - 8:24 am

  94. The New Diplomat's Wife -

    I echo the tears. So many times I could have been so much more grateful in the same situation. I can only imagine what it must have been like to be on the receiving end of my antics and I try every day to make up for it in my adult life, using who I’ve become thanks to them to help atone for who I was when I was younger and didn’t know any better. Very touching story.

      5.25.11 - 10:02 am

  95. denise karis -

    For so long, I wanted to crawl out of my brown skin and be someone else. Belong elsewhere.

    100% felt the same way ….until,like,my early 20’s…. isn’t that sad? I so wish I could go back and make me embrace myself more – my family – thanks for posting, lady πŸ˜›

      5.25.11 - 11:48 am

  96. Sarah V -

    Jasmine, what sad words…yet at the same time what good words. Good because you grew from your 14 year old self and you realized the error of your feelings about your parents and you have become so loving, caring and supportive to your family. We all mess up, we all are ashamed of things in our past, but it’s the growth and the learning we pull from those mis-steps that allow us to be the better person today. You are a good person and your family knows it – never doubt that!

      5.25.11 - 1:08 pm

  97. Sydney Wedding Photographer -

    Lovely post, I really enjoy the fact that you are so sincere and personal in everything you write.

      5.25.11 - 2:46 pm

  98. Melinda Leal -

    Ok Mrs. Jaz, I am sitting hear eating my McDonalds bisquet thinking…"Man, if she wrote a book I would totally read it! She hooked me with the first 2 sentences!" Then I get to the point of your story and CRIED! I loved this….I think most people who are 1st generation or even 2nd generation Americans feel you. EXCELLENT POST!

      5.25.11 - 2:58 pm

  99. MichelleSibley -

    tender, raw, real…typical… you are not alone. Cher…"if i could turn back time"… melancholy…now a mom who has gone through the teen stage…felt the other side…confusion…understanding…life’s mystery…life’s truths…life

      5.25.11 - 4:08 pm

  100. Jana Marler -

    UWWW I just got the chills. Very nice Jasmine.

      5.25.11 - 4:29 pm

  101. Karen (Mikols) Bonar -

    woah. Your 5th paragraph BLEW ME AWAY. I love father/daughter relationships!

      5.25.11 - 4:45 pm

  102. Feuza -

    beautifully written and look at you guys now, wow

      5.25.11 - 7:40 pm

  103. Dasola Alatise -

    How I love the way you write dear jasmine, it is so refreshing!

      5.25.11 - 7:52 pm

  104. felicia gwen -

    So sweet…thank you for sharing this.

      5.25.11 - 7:55 pm

  105. Bobbie Brown -

    Oh my goodness, I have tears and chill bumps.

      5.25.11 - 8:01 pm

  106. destinygracephotography.com -

    My dad is a very short Mexican and my mom is a very tall pale women. I went to an all American elm. and Jr. High. I remember having those feelings towards my dad. Your post made me laugh and cry. I felt that way at open house too. Now that I’m older, I can embrace who I am and who my parents are. I now know that if it wasn’t one thing about them, it would have been another. As a mother of a 13 and 12 year old, your post will help me to remember who I was at that age and not take their phase so personally.

      5.25.11 - 10:37 pm

  107. Lauren -

    <3

      5.26.11 - 2:09 am

  108. Tim King -

    Great post Jazz. Not going to lie, I could relate. My dad & step-mom had a 15 year gap in age & I was embarrassed about it…wish I could go back and slap my young self

      5.26.11 - 2:54 am

  109. Jim Hutchison -

    Jasmine, I met your dad here in Bend, Oregon at a men’s retreat with Calvary Chapel. He is an awesome man, a blessed man of God, and very, very proud of his daughter. He told me about your website. He encouraged me a great deal about having children later in life. We have two beautiful daughters, 2 and 4 years old. It was your dad’s words that eased my anxiety more than anyone. You are a blessed woman. JD is a blessed man. Your dad is incredible. Thank you for sharing the way that you do on your blog. May God continue to bless you and JD.
    Sincerely, Jim Hutchison, Bend, Oregon.

      5.26.11 - 3:27 am

  110. Beth -

    I love your honesty! You are so brave and wonderful. Thank you for sharing. All teenagers feel this way I think. Now I am in the role of parent and am very interested to see what my kids will find embarrassing about me:)

      5.26.11 - 3:27 am

  111. Shane Jeffri -

    I think, if given the chance, we’d all slap our 14-year-old selves. Thanks for sharing this, for your honesty. I can definitely relate.

      5.26.11 - 4:13 am

  112. Shanna Alva -

    This gave me chills. Beautiful sentiment.

      5.26.11 - 3:50 pm

  113. Alejandra -Imaginale -

    Oh Jasmine … the writing.. the story itself moves me with such beautiful darkness. You are such an inspiration.

      5.26.11 - 4:56 pm

  114. Mikaela -

    i’m not quite sure what to say but i know i needed to comment because your honesty and writing ability is so beautiful. as are you. xo!

      5.26.11 - 7:28 pm

  115. Kelly -

    This made me tear up. I love moments in life like this because it is liberating and freeing. It shows how we (should) evolve in life. Thanks for sharing. What a lovely declaration to your parents πŸ™‚

      5.26.11 - 7:40 pm

  116. Stacey -

    I sobbed. lol

      5.26.11 - 9:44 pm

  117. Shalene -

    I have been reading your blog and admiring your gorgeous work for a long time. This blog made me cry. We were all that kid at least once in our life. Thank you for sharing this.

      5.26.11 - 9:50 pm

  118. Faith Bowyer -

    <3

      5.26.11 - 11:17 pm

  119. Brittney -

    Beautiful! In so many ways.

      5.26.11 - 11:21 pm

  120. Alaina Bos -

    I definitely would have slapped my 14 year old self but if I remember a time correctly, my mom did it for me in the middle of a crowded restaurant for being a smart ass!! Your honesty is refreshing! I love reading your posts each week.

      5.27.11 - 12:31 am

  121. Natalie -

    Oh I had to send this to my parents… hoping they’d understand. I’m so proud of where I came from now, and wish I’d known to be then too. Beautiful!

      5.27.11 - 2:55 am

  122. Lydia -

    Thank God for giving us the parents we need and controlling the circumstances that surround us!

      5.27.11 - 11:54 am

  123. Mara -

    I can relate. Of course I did the same thing, but how can I raise my young daughter to feel comfortable enough to own herself (and her family) at that age? I sure wish I had the answer. Any one out there with pointers on raising children to be confident and loving young adults, feel free to shout at me!

      5.27.11 - 6:22 pm

  124. Nikki -

    Beautiful. I am sure this resonates with so many people. Thank you for sharing this.

      5.27.11 - 9:31 pm

  125. TERRI -

    There is nothing more beautiful than raw honesty. Thank you for sharing this with us.

      5.27.11 - 11:39 pm

  126. Cai Graham -

    This made me cry :'(

      5.29.11 - 5:59 pm

  127. Catara -

    I love your honesty…the stories you tell. If you wrote a book, I would buy it πŸ™‚ I need tissue now !!

      5.30.11 - 5:12 am

  128. emily -

    Your father was brilliant in his honesty to you at that moment. I loved this story and like the others, cried a bit.
    Thanks for sharing. Thanks for the reminder that honesty is always best.

      5.31.11 - 6:09 pm

  129. Tish C Hill -

    Tears….instant tears. We all roll our eyes at our parents, when all they are doing is the best they can. I know my daughters are rolling their eyes at me these days. But I hope one day they see I am doing the best I can and trying to be the mother I never had… <3

      6.2.11 - 8:04 pm

  130. kristie metivier -

    thank you for sharing this. it brought tears to my eyes. sometimes our realizations are so profound, it hurts.

      6.21.11 - 6:12 pm

  131. Dana -

    i remember being this girl… except it was my mother … totally hits home. thank you for being so open & sharing this. xo

      1.25.12 - 7:13 am

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