Five Things I’m Terrified to Tell You


Things have changed. Life no longer looks the way it did seven years ago…this makes me both happy and sad. The future is exciting and filled with endless opportunities, but the past is a treasure box of my favorite memories. I started my blog seven years ago to document what I thought would become pieces of a failed photography business. What transpired, however, was the inception of my dream.

Back then posts were filled with awkward longing and divulging the struggles of getting life off the ground. Now it’s morphed into a mix of photography tips, pop culture references, and curated aspects of my week. It’s slowly moved away from the raw unknown to who I am today. And that’s fine, but I miss putting myself out there…it’s one thing to write when your only reader is your mother, but different when you want to protect the softer parts of your heart.

Today I’m posting Five Things I’m Terrified to Tell You…

JD and I are praying about adopting a child. This is, of course, a huge decision (and, really, I accidentally let a cactus wilt…can I really have a kid?!), but the thought of starting a family in the next couple of years makes me mix of sap/worrier/ecstatic/nervous/joyful.

I hide food. You’d think I was raised during the Depression with the way I hoard treats in corners of the pantry, freezer, or my purse. Once, when I was 10 years old, I hid two dozen pumpkin cookies in a satchel and ate them in a single sitting in the back of my mother’s minivan.

I wish for everyone else’s wardrobe. Looking at friends’ outfits on instagram makes me view my closet with absolute distaste and disdain. I hate admitting this.

I lay in bed at night worrying I’ll fall ill/lose a leg/poke my eye out. It’s a ridiculous thing to worry about, but I do because I really just want to photograph for the rest of my life.

I have no decorating skills to speak of. Last night I made a joke that our bedroom looked like the easter bunny and drug dealers contributed to the decor. JD didn’t think it was funny.

I’m not going to lie. Publishing this post makes me a little ill, but one day I’ll look back and realize how small and silly my fears were…either that or tell a great story about the time I poked my eye out.