Kisses+Disses : Broken + Toes


It’s summer time. And it’s around this time one might see plastic banners hanging from the outside of a nearby church inviting kids to attend Vacation Bible School. Oh, the days of VBS. While most kids remember songs, play dates, and pin the tail on Baby Jesus’ donkey, I remember that one time…

I was the overweight kid who often watched games before participating, often nominating myself as a judge. IN MY MIND. Oh, yeah…I was a cool kid. Anyway, the kids at VBS made up a game where they’d jump and touch an exit sign. I can do that, I muttered to myself. So I did. But instead of falling gracefully to the floor, I somehow jumped backward and landed on Mrs. Grisby’s big toe. Breaking it.

Mrs. Grisby howled and shoot-darnit-oh my’d the way a good Christian lady would in church and I apologized profusely.

Still to day, whenever I see a VBS sign hanging outside of a church, I think of Mrs. Grisby’s broken toe. And thank the sweet Lord Almighty for playing a game located by an emergency exit so I could run away.

Which leads me to another installment of Kisses and Disses

This week’s DISSES go to…
*People who use words like “East” when giving me directions…makes me feel like I’m guiding a ship to a new land.
*Broken toes.
*Misspelling. Yesterday I wrote sequence dress instead of sequined dress…ugh. I’m smrat. I prmoise.

This week’s KISSES go to…
*Project Runway. Every girl needs little bit of Tim Gunn and Heidi Klum in her life…my tv cup runneth over.
*Pedicures. I have an unhealthy obsession with changing my toe color. WHAT’S UP WITH ALL THIS TOE TALK?!
*Successfully slamming a revolving door. Sorta.

Happy Friday!

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  1. Lorrie Prothero

    July 20th, 2012 at 5:17 pm

    then I’m definitely on your dis list. I ALWAYS give directions in NSEW because I don’t always know what direction the person is coming from. East is ALWAYS East, but left is not always left.

  2. Liz

    July 20th, 2012 at 5:40 pm

    VBS stories are the best!

  3. Kitrin Jeffrey

    July 20th, 2012 at 5:59 pm

    I think you might have to dedicate a FAQ post regarding how to slam a revolving door 😉 Have a great weekend J*

  4. Kristi Hill

    July 20th, 2012 at 6:04 pm

    Ha ha. I’m glad I’m not alone in the directions thing. I grew up in WA state and we NEVER gave directions as "EAST" so when I moved to Colorado and everyone does it that way, I feel stupid because I have no idea which direction that is unless I can see the Rocky Mts. And I’ve lived here 13 years now. lol.

  5. twebster

    July 20th, 2012 at 8:32 pm

    I’m a "turn left at the second brown stump past the red barn" kinda girl. Tell me to go east or west and I’m screwed!!! 😉

  6. Tony Belmont

    July 20th, 2012 at 9:12 pm

    I might have said this before, but I had an English Prof who basically said as long as people understand what you are saying, all the rest (spelling, usage, etc.) doesn’t matter.

    My other thought – you misspelled that on prurpose yesterday to be able to add a DISS today, LOL.

    Have a great weekend everyone.


    July 20th, 2012 at 11:23 pm

    I so feel you on the direction thing! I tell them, um you need to tell me left or right! Lol! Then I get the ‘East is in the direction of the Lake’ (that would be Lake Michigan btw-Chicago lady here) and my response is – if I can’t SEE the Lake that doesnt help me! LOL Thank goodness for the map on my iPhone! Happy Friday!!!

  8. Ginny

    July 21st, 2012 at 1:54 pm

    hahah.. too funny. have a great saturday!!!

  9. aurea

    July 21st, 2012 at 5:24 pm

    LOL! Thanks for giving me a good laugh! I can relate in the direction thingy btw!

  10. Denver photographer

    July 21st, 2012 at 7:03 pm

    Funny funny. Glad you had the exit door. 🙂

  11. Karen

    July 22nd, 2012 at 8:23 pm

    East, west, right, left…it doesn’t help me, haha. I need to know the name of a major city.

  12. James L Dekker

    July 26th, 2012 at 10:18 pm

    Jasmine, your work is just such an inspiration. Thank you for sharing the info on shooting the rings, it’s a great help.