Kisses+Disses : Yoga + The Herbivore

Personal

As we made our way there, he turned to me and said, You better not show off and act like a pretzel. Yes, that’s JD. He imagines I’ll act like an inanimate object just to show how cool I am in yoga class. We’ve been together for 13 years and I’ve never–not once–convinced him to attend a class with me. Ever. In fact, he makes fun of my gym-going endeavors. But for some reason, I invited him to find his inner chi with me…because, really, I’m usually the one stealing his chi on a daily basis.

I’ll go with you if we can go to In-n-Out after.

I smiled. Here’s where the story diverges. He said the smile indicated yes, I said the smile indicated you’re crazy and I wouldn’t dream of eating a burger and fries after a midday workout.

After successfully completing an hour workout, JD asked if I was ready for In-n-Out. Then I pointed out a very healthy vegetarian option located nearby and I just knew he’d looooove it. I added all those o’s for emphasis. After some convincing (thanks to my days in law school), JD agreed to eat a grilled {soy} chicken sandwich.

I’m no longer gonna refer to myself as a vegetarian. After successfully convincing a carnivore to practice yoga and eat healthy in a single day, I’m referring to myself as an HERBIVORE. Because I’m all hard core and stuff.

Which leads me to another installment of Kisses and Disses

This week’s DISSES go to…
*The smell of BenGay…my bedroom smells like a high school locker room right now.
*The Santa Ana winds. There’s so much dust in the air my car looks like a professional off-roader.
*Folding a fitted sheet…is it possible for it to end up as anything other than a rolled up ball?!

This week’s KISSES go to…
*Yoga. For enabling me to show off…LIKE A PRETZEL.
*Fondue. I wish it were the base of the food pyramid…I could eat melted cheese for days.
*Bravo’s Watch What Happens Live with Andy Cohen. And, yes, this proves my horrible taste in television, but I adore Andy and secretly wish we were friends in real life so he’d send me a bedazzled Mazel t-shirt.