Morphing Into Martha

Morphing Into Martha


Last night—as JD and I walked Polo—I came up with a great, new idea. I felt like Einstein or Pasteur…that’s how smart I felt.

Sooo, what if I, like, try to make dinner every night! I looked at JD with raised eyebrows and a neon smile. We spend a lot of dining out (I always joke that the only thing I make for dinner is reservations!), so in attempts to reclaim my domestic title (or, ahem, try to stake claim at such a title), I decided to be all Martha Stewartish this week. Sans the folded sweaters around my neck, of course.

Late last night we ventured into the grocery store quipped with recipes and a grocery list. JD stuck to the list, but I started pulling things off the shelves like I was planning for Y3K. When we arrived to the canned goods section, I neatly arranged tomato sauce in our cart. JD shook his head and insisted we had tomato sauce. Nonsense! One can never have enough tomato sauce! We went back and forth about the red sauce and we compromised in getting two cans.

When we left the grocery store, I’m pretty sure we dipped into our 401K to pay for it all. Who knew eating in was so expensive?! As we unloaded our groceries, JD told me to look in our pantry. Lo and behold, there stood 23 glorious cans of tomato sauce. What is my problem?! I honestly think I have OCD because not only am I obsessed with tomato sauce, I have a thing for canned beans and spaghetti sauce. Seriously, I could probably feed 40 Italian men at a moment’s notice! Chef Boyardee ain’t got nothin’ on me.

I just got off the phone with JD. Ironically—even though I could make an all-things tomato dish—I asked if we could go to Chipotle for dinner. Because, you know, I need a little more time morphing into Martha.

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  1. Melissa Koehler -

    You are cracking me up!!!
    I am so the same way! 23 cans, you are too funny!
    You should have a cook off of some sort 🙂
    I try to be domestic but I usually resort to eating out, at least I try 🙂

      2.4.08 - 7:54 pm

  2. Vida -

    Now all you need is a little sofrito and you’ll be all set!

    Happy cooking 🙂

      2.4.08 - 7:57 pm

  3. Raya -

    Congratulations on your new adventure into domesticity. I cook almost every night so thought I would just give you a tip that helps me: On the weekend I plan out all my meals for the week, then make a list of what I need and shop just for that week. I spend a lot less on groceries because I only buy what I know we’ll need and then when 5:30 rolls around I don’t have to spend an hour thinking of what to make because it’s all planned out for me : ) have fun!

      2.4.08 - 8:14 pm

  4. gabriel ryan -

    let me know when you start a "martha-morphed" blog… maybe you could start with clever ways of serving left-overs from eating out… anyways, carlie and i know where to run when global warming puts are house side-by-side with sponge bob

      2.4.08 - 8:20 pm

  5. Yunna -

    Oh my goodness, I even love your picture of the cans. (seriously no sarcasm added to this) I love the colors and crispness in your PP.

      2.4.08 - 8:33 pm

  6. Tanya Jose -

    OMG, I just recently turned in to a domestic goddess…swearing that I would make dinner/lunch everyday. Yea, its been 2 months & we still eat out a lot. UGH! Good luck tho!

      2.4.08 - 8:43 pm

  7. erin -

    You are too funny! It’s just great how you can make a story about going to the grocery store so entertaining. I also wanted to leave you a note saying that Chipotle is my favorite place to eat! I actually at there for lunch today. I’m so glad it is within walking distance =)

      2.4.08 - 8:47 pm

  8. Anya -

    LMAO!!! Oh man, this literally had me laughing out loud. My kids probably think I am a total crazy lady. Your post made me want to go and take a picture of my own pantry. Which is stocked with so much tomato sauce, tomato paste, various canned soups I will never eat…blah blah blah….. and yet I am about ready to pick up the phone…and call for Oriental. Cheers!

      2.4.08 - 8:53 pm

  9. Deb -

    OMG…LMAO! You are too funny. Good luck morphing into Martha. If you ever figure it out, let me know b/c I have three kids and still can’t figure out how to enjoy this dinner making thing. Deb

      2.4.08 - 9:04 pm

  10. mary -

    oooo share your vegetarian recipes! i am always looking for good veg recipes so we’re not eating spaghetti all the time.

      2.4.08 - 9:15 pm

  11. paula -

    if you need help with menus, you can always try they have the menus and the grocery list for the week and it’s FREE. it’s not just for moms either. my husband loves the meals and is sad when i don’t use it. they are so helpful with hints, etc. you will probably have leftovers so you may need to half the recipes or just freeze the leftovers, which they suggest to do sometimes. hope that helps 🙂

      2.4.08 - 9:16 pm

  12. Amanda Donaho -

    I TOTALLY feel the same way! I can’t belive how expensive eating "in" is either! My husband gets excited when I get on the cooking-bandwagon, until he sees the grocery bill! I am just a lousy shopper I guess!

      2.4.08 - 9:22 pm

  13. Jen Harris -

    You have got me laughing my head off!!! That is so funny! XOXO

      2.4.08 - 9:37 pm

  14. Gena McMillan -

    You and Tomato Sauce is like me and cream of mushroom soup!!! It goes in a lot of things people just don’t realize how valuable it is!!!

      2.4.08 - 9:47 pm

  15. Julia Williams -

    I, too, have a ridiculous stock of canned goods in my cupboard (but absolutely NO tomato sauce – mostly soup). About once a year I vow I am going to start eating healthier things like soup instead of Thai food when I don’t feel like cooking (read: nearly every day), then I go to costco and stock up… where it never emerges from the cupboard again. I’m almost to the point where I am ready to give up this pretense, since it ends up costing MORE – but the domestic goddess in my heart won’t admit that I just can’t manage cooking all the time. I’m so glad to know that I am not alone!

      2.4.08 - 9:55 pm

  16. Erin -

    Too funny! That’s me and cans of stewed italian tomoatoes…I put them on everything! I just went through a whole fresh produce/cooking at home makeover and its actually been sooo exhilarating and fun. Raya is right – find recipes on,, or, make a grocery list for just that week and shop thrifty (I usually substitute expensive ingredients for Ralph’s brand!). Have fun with it too – I just laugh at myself while I make dinner knowing that I have no clue!

      2.4.08 - 10:01 pm

  17. Fred Egan -

    Forget eating in! I Love Chipotle 😀

      2.4.08 - 10:05 pm

  18. Cindy -

    LOL!!! This totally cracked me up! When I was growing up, there was NEVER a shortage of tomato sauce at our house. I mean NEVER! And you last sentence is TOTALLY me….I always need time to "plan" after I get all those groceries.
    You crack me up!

      2.4.08 - 10:05 pm

  19. Korey -

    I have an unhealthy obsession with Martha! haha. I like the Sandra Lee Semi-Homemade Cooking "Cooking Light" cookbook. It is healthy, everything I’ve made is very good, uses tons of veggies, but takes shortcuts so you cook gourmet in a reasonable amount of time (who has time to be Martha without her staff?). It has a vegetarian section, but I substitue the other recipes as well. It’s totally do-able and not overwhelming.

      2.4.08 - 10:08 pm

  20. Jasmine* -

    LOL!! Okay, thank you to EVERYONE who’s proffered suggestions! I love them! Here’s the clincher though: I DON’T EVEN USE TOMATO SAUCE!?! Weird, right? I’m pretty sure I have issues! 🙂

      2.4.08 - 10:12 pm

  21. andie -

    sounds like a big crock pot of chili with beans is in your future. i always buy mushrooms and green chilies ..i have no idea why!

      2.4.08 - 10:39 pm

  22. Diane -

    you should go to i love going there to find new recipes with stuff lying around the pantry. i also love rachael ray, she’s awesome! 😀

      2.4.08 - 11:08 pm

  23. angel swanson -

    cooking is one of my favorite things to do and is a great way to destress. 😉 tonight i’m making a yummy pad thai that is easilly turned vegetarian if you use tofu instead of chicken. come on over! haha xoxo

      2.4.08 - 11:19 pm

  24. Wayne Toshikazu -

    I’m sure someone will report me to the police and/or psych ward for saying this, but I never knew that a bunch of cans of tomato sauce could look so sexy. Seriously.

    Your pictures always look sooooo good. You rock!

    P.S. I could stand to domesticate in the kitchen a bit more myself. My wife would LOVE that.

      2.4.08 - 11:22 pm

  25. Jennifer Elaine -

    I get that same urge about once every two months. I just ignore it sometimes. My mom bought me a cookbook for Christmas called "Anyone Can Cook"…

      2.4.08 - 11:33 pm

  26. Desiree Hayes -

    It works to make chili too….we do vegetarian chili. LOL I have huge amounts of pinto beans at all times in my cupboard. LOL Chili, burritos….side dish to enchiladas….ahahahaha. Beans are the bomb!

      2.4.08 - 11:40 pm

  27. Bianca -

    Jas, you are turning into mother! She went to the grocery market and bought 5 more cans of tomato sauce… to add to our other 25 cans in our pantry. Like mother, like daughter.

      2.4.08 - 11:42 pm

  28. Penny -

    LMAO…this is too freakin’ funny. If you weren’t a photographer, you could make a living as a writer. Brilliantly funny stuff. Love reading your blog.

      2.4.08 - 11:46 pm

  29. dapotato -

    i did this about a week and a half ago, and i spent two full evenings cooking up a storm (i had a track record of cooking maybe once a month prior to this). we ate in almost every night last week, had a few lunches, and even froze some.

    it was dang expensive, though. good luck with your endeavor! i forsee lots of tomato-based dishes in your future. 😉

      2.4.08 - 11:47 pm

  30. WeezerMonkey -

    I love this post! As a non-cooker, I am thoroughly impressed by both your Martha goal and your 1,693 cans of tomato sauce.

      2.4.08 - 11:48 pm

  31. John Santiago -

    LOL!!! Tell JD I’m gonna commission a statue of him in his honor. My wife does the same thing to me, and it’s all I can do to keep my head from exploding. Your hubbie is a saint! 🙂

      2.4.08 - 11:48 pm

  32. Navy Sou -

    Notice that within the frame of this shot, there are three different brands of tomato sauce! ROFL!!! You’re cute, Jasmine! 🙂

      2.5.08 - 12:03 am

  33. Eddie Bojorquez (Studio512) -

    I love this story! And did you just use the word, "Sans"? Ha ha.

      2.5.08 - 12:13 am

  34. C.J. Scott -

    Cameron has this thing for canned beans too and it drives me nuts how many cans we have in our pantry. I don’t even really like beans…lol.

      2.5.08 - 12:33 am

  35. melissa stava -

    i think i intoduced you to chipotle!! when we met and i told you about red shoes!!! *happy sigh*

      2.5.08 - 1:30 am

  36. Karen -

    Haha, your obsession with tomato sauce is really cute. ^-^ I really liked how humorous this entry was, haha.

      2.5.08 - 2:15 am

  37. Lia -

    Chipotle is da BOMB! 😀

      2.5.08 - 2:19 am

  38. Rochelle Ax -

    mmm… Chipotle! K,currently 6 cans of pears, 5 cans of peach slices, 8 cans of green beans, 2 peas, 3 corn, 4 tuna, 6 pinto beans, 3 kidneybeans, (i’ve never even used kidney beans), and a partridge in a pear tree– I need help, I buy TONS of canned food and never use it! GOOD LUCK with tomato soup!

      2.5.08 - 2:37 am

  39. Shandon -

    I’m the same way… except that my Frequently Purchased Item of Choice is brown sugar. Tends to happen most around the holidays when I’m preparing to make all my yummy sweet potato recipes (biscuits, casserole, etc.). I probably have a good 5 boxes (not including the ones that have been opened and forgotten about). I’ve just come to the decision that the best of us have OCD. =)

      2.5.08 - 4:10 am

  40. Cathy -


      2.5.08 - 5:59 am

  41. marlene -

    haha…i too, have been here…except for me it was canned diced tomatoes. i inSISTED that we didn’t have any. now, we have noooo room for the 21389028423 extra cans and i’m going to have to many about 40 pots of chili to wear the supply down.

    i don’t feel alone now 🙂

      2.5.08 - 11:01 am

  42. Sweet Pea -

    Just think of cooking as another artistic outlet.

      2.5.08 - 1:04 pm

  43. cassandra m -

    Thanks for making my day start off with a laugh. You are tooooo funny girl! Check out Ms Paula Deen’s cooking show…she has some great recipes herself 😉

      2.5.08 - 2:59 pm

  44. Erica Ferrone -

    I miss Ralphs! Do me a favor and take one night off from cooking and go to In and Out Burger. We don’t have them in Boston and they were AWESOME. Enjoy one for me 🙂

      2.5.08 - 3:59 pm

  45. kymberli q. -

    Wow, I thought I was bad when I came home from the store with tomato sauce and saw 3 cans of it already in the cupboard! LOL 🙂

      2.5.08 - 4:45 pm

  46. Araxi -

    Well at least you buy the small cans lol My tomato of choice is the diced tomato’s I have a good 20 cans in my pantry. I just look at it as my earthquake preparedness kit 🙂 no one can get mad at me for that.

      2.5.08 - 5:15 pm

  47. Frannie -

    LMBO!! You are too funny. Well, at least you won’t be running out of that anytime soon! 😀

      2.5.08 - 5:52 pm

  48. Mary Jane -

    O.K., I just laughed out loud. I love that! You’re fabulous. xoxo

      2.5.08 - 8:26 pm

  49. Sara France -

    You are awesome! I miss you! See you soon!

      2.5.08 - 11:44 pm

  50. Tonya@RedDoorPhotography -

    I love Martha. Serious…everyone called me that in high school and when I was a nanny in NYC. This post made me laugh out loud. Of all the things to buy…tomatoe sauce. Too funny!

      2.6.08 - 12:45 am

  51. Amanda Forbush -

    That had to be the FUNNIEST thing i have read on your blog.

    Seriously, can’t stop laughing!!! 🙂

      2.6.08 - 1:13 am

  52. kms -

    Ohh….girls….canned food is not great for you! Go fresh! 🙂 Signed, your friendly dietitian. 🙂

      2.6.08 - 3:19 am

  53. Zekeshem -

    That might be the funniest thing I’ve read all week!! Love the way you tell your stories…heehee. So did you enjoy your view of the neatly arranged sauce while dining on Chipotle? 😉

      2.6.08 - 5:52 am

  54. Alisha -

    Hi Jasmine. 1st time commenter here!! 🙂 I just LOVE all your personal entries. I know it isn’t related to this post, but I was wondering if we could have an update on your little nephew? I’ve been praying for him a lot!

      2.6.08 - 2:11 pm

  55. Erin -

    Haha, I have the SAME problem with tomato sauce. At any given time I probably have at least 10 cans on hand, but I always buy more….

      2.6.08 - 5:26 pm

  56. Shelley -

    Hey there! I LOVE your style of writing, you seem to make everything you do seem like such a fun adventure! You are so cute! Love it!

      2.6.08 - 5:52 pm

  57. emily steffen -

    huh? This is exactly one of my new years reolutions…although the first time I made dinner this whole year was last night…ehhhem…I am just being careful at how I start out such a feat………

      2.6.08 - 7:46 pm

  58. Jasmine* -

    @Alicia: Thanks for praying for Corey! He’s doing awesome!! So good, in fact, that he’s a total chub rock now…I want to bite his chubby little legs! 🙂

      2.6.08 - 8:04 pm

  59. Margo -

    I love cooking, but I’m lazy and hate to go to the store every day. Also, I don’t have enough room for 23 cans of everything as a backup. Here’s what I do: Every Sunday, I make a meal plan for the coming week (don’t forget to plan for Friday and Saturday nights, unless you have weddings planned) and then figure out a shopping list based on that. THEN go to the store – and you have the ingredients for dinners all week!

      2.6.08 - 10:14 pm

  60. Kristie -

    I am a 1st time commenter also. I read your blog daily and LOVE it. This is so funny because I also have a tomato sauce problem. Our friends came over for a party this holiday season and took all the labels off our can goods (evil trick) and when we figured it out they said "It was all tomato sauce anyway". Keep blogging…We love reading

      2.7.08 - 12:10 am

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