Rules of Snugglement


Whenever I’m feeling down, I become ultra sensitive. Please don’t look at me cross-eyed when I’ve had a bad day because I may just melt into a puddle of tears. This past week has been one of those weeks when I wanted to squeeze my eyes shut and wish for tomorrow to come. And, yes, I’ve warned JD not to look at me cross-eyed for fear of living with Liquid Woman, the girl who melted into a puddle and had to live in an empty bottle of Chanel Mademoiselle. And then it’d be ALL HIS FAULT.

Don’t get me wrong. This week has been good in so many ways, but life has a way of sticking you in a tornado of wrenches. And wrenches hurt.

As I was sitting at my desk this morning, I placed my face in my hands and prayed. And then sighed. I felt JD staring at my back from across the room. I secretly wanted him to get up from his large, red chair and hug me, but I stayed silent. A few minutes later, his arm was wrapped around my neck as he pulled me into his chest.

If it makes you feel any better, we snuggled last night, JD said. That’s another thing. When I’m feeling down, I become the World’s Neediest Snuggler. I almost nuzzled my postman yesterday for handing over a much needed package.

Nooo, I snuggled with you…you didn’t snuggle with me, I replied from under his embrace. His response was something along the lines that he was unaware of the Rules of Snugglement, but he said he’ll try to get better. Me too, I agreed, but I meant that in so many ways. I want to become a better person. Daughter. Wife. Friend. Photographer. Just better.

And as long as I don’t melt into a puddle before next week, I think being better is a serious possibility.

I’m off to shoot an engagement session in Santa Monica later today, but this is a sneak peek at a shoot I’m editing now! 🙂

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  1. Nicky

    October 17th, 2008 at 6:07 pm

    Hope you feel better and next week is better! Eric is a terrible snuggler as well, that is why I have a dog. Use the dog :).

  2. Beth

    October 17th, 2008 at 6:10 pm

    I feel exactly the same way 🙂 I have been so down, busy, cranky lately! I came to my computer and prayed "Lord, I need a little boost" and here it is! HUG HUG!

  3. Tira J

    October 17th, 2008 at 6:20 pm

    Hi Jas, I hope your shoot goes well, and that you get out of this funk you are in. I know that life isn’t always peachy, but we all have so much to live for, including snuggling until the end of time. I have been praying for you and your family this week. Hugs to you my friend!

  4. Nena

    October 17th, 2008 at 6:21 pm

    Oh, thank you for being so real. We all have days or weeks that aren’t so great, but you always remain happy. Good for you! Can’t wait to see the other pictures of this couple! =-)

  5. Regina White

    October 17th, 2008 at 6:24 pm

    Oh how I can relate with you right about now. One sick 8 1/2 month old, sick husband and one family shoot to edit plus full time job = very in need of a snuggle. Hope things get better for you. Take Care.

  6. Shelley Weber

    October 17th, 2008 at 6:25 pm

    Man did this post hit a nerve…I know how you feel and at this time of year I am so busy and everyone just takes, takes & takes. Deep breath and continue…you are just aren’t seeing it 🙂

  7. luc

    October 17th, 2008 at 6:31 pm

    Idont understand why you have to be better…Maybe thats the problem? You think you have to be better. How about being happy and accepting who you are right here right now..wonderful,loving,smart,funny,giving.humble,motivated,determined,creative you. You dont have to be anything. JUST BE.

  8. Lisa

    October 17th, 2008 at 6:33 pm

    I know EXACTLY what you mean. With my frustrations comes loud sighs. For me cuddles bring a little rejuvenation. I hope next week goes a little smoother for you Jasmine. 🙂

  9. Christa

    October 17th, 2008 at 6:35 pm

    I feel like it’s me writing this post. I’m exactly like that when I’m down as well, not to mention the need to push myself to improve, re-evaluate, and the list goes on 🙂 I’ll say a prayer that you’re back to your strong self soon.

  10. Starry-Eyed Barefoot Bride

    October 17th, 2008 at 6:43 pm

    I know what you mean!!! I get so used to being goofy snuggly with my fiance that I sometimes forget that I can’t do that to others!

  11. Mandy

    October 17th, 2008 at 6:45 pm


    I think maybe this feeling must be going around a bit. This week I have been feeling particularly needy emotionally, and I don’t really feel that way normally, so that makes it ever WORSE when you kind of feel out of your norm, you know?

    My hubby is great, but snuggling isn’t my thing. That is why I have the kids though…although sometimes I need the snuggling BECAUSE of the kids. Haha.

    Here is to hoping that next week is better! Take are of yourself, and I am sure the postman really liked the snuggle.

  12. liana

    October 17th, 2008 at 6:54 pm

    Awww Jazzy. We must be cut from the SAME cloth. A big fat ditto …I’m one of those liquid-snuggle-gals too. Thank GOD my man can handle it! What would we do without these guys?

  13. Vanessa

    October 17th, 2008 at 6:54 pm

    Reading this made me want to cry too. Has this dark cloud been following all of us? What is going on this week for you?

  14. You make me LOVE being ME!

    October 17th, 2008 at 6:59 pm

    I love love love hearing about happy marriages where rules of snugglement are acknowledged and respected. We are among the blessed!

    Thank you for the enthusiasm you sent my way in spite of your tumultuous week. That means even more to me now!

  15. lin

    October 17th, 2008 at 7:02 pm

    Hope you feel better Jasmine!

  16. Megan

    October 17th, 2008 at 7:14 pm

    That puddle was me yesterday. I had to take the afternoon off work because I couldn’t stop crying. My dog had puppies, and they’re dying one by one. Plus my computer crashed and I’m having husband issues. Puddleville. Hang in there Jasmine.

  17. courtney dellafiora

    October 17th, 2008 at 7:46 pm

    jasmine, you are such an incredibly tender-hearted person. I just love reading all your stories about photography and life. You have SUCH a great heart and are such an inspirational person. Never quit being you. We all have hard days here and there. It’s okay to want to snuggle every now and then!! We all need it from time to time!! You are amazing, never ever change!!! … a big fan.

  18. Kristen Dawn

    October 17th, 2008 at 7:52 pm

    I know how you feel. I always get stuck being the big spoon.

    I had a mental freak out a few weeks ago and decided to book fewer weddings next year. It’s not fair to me, my clients or anyone in my life if everyone is walking around on egg shells around me. We need to jump and run…. we’re photographers!! The best job ever!!

    Don’t put so much pressure on yourself and if you’ve grown too fast for your own skin then just shrink a little…. bubble baths usually help the shrinking. 🙂 Peace.

  19. angel swanson

    October 17th, 2008 at 8:16 pm

    we call it cuddles, but by both names, mutual cuddling/snuggling is required. 😉 sending you a bigggg hug and lots of love. xoxo

  20. Deyla Huss Photography

    October 17th, 2008 at 8:21 pm

    I have to say Jasmine this is my favorite shot you have ever done! The reason is first off I love the color contrast with the ultra bright wall with the ultra dull but bold brick walls, then the lines in this shot as equisite, The way it drags your eyes in this shot truly is a delight. Very well done and thank you sharing Jasmine! and to end this note, May I say HOLLAAAA for a great end of your week and start of a fabulous weekend. Enjoy your life, enjoy the fact that you are a fabulous person and remember that having these "oh so needed" emotional outbursts is the same for most I think, and the fact that you turn to god for a sigh of relief , really sister, AMEN to that! Thanks for sharing your stories!

  21. Bobbie Brown

    October 17th, 2008 at 8:22 pm

    Aw, we all have room to be ‘better’ I know, but don’t be to hard on yourself. If it makes you feel any better at all I think you are fabulous in so many ways! And I hope that this weekend is wonderful and next week much better for ya. Meanwhile, keep your fingers crossed for me that I will have a baby this weekend! Haha! Love you and your pictures as always!

  22. ~abi~

    October 17th, 2008 at 8:38 pm

    this is the guy whose wife surprised him via your blog, right??? can’t wait to see more of their shoot! 🙂 i love the image here!

  23. Jo-Anne Kyle

    October 17th, 2008 at 9:10 pm

    In the words of a very wise woman, "Take a deep breath. Breathe again.
    Life is good, the forum is good, and we’re all one, big happy family! 🙂 " – Jasmine Star.
    Okay, so maybe the forum bit doesn’t make sense here, but your words to Becker stuck with me and have helped me through a few rough patches lately, so I thought I should remind you of them now. Take care, take comfort in all the people sending prayers and positive vibes your way!

  24. Jane

    October 17th, 2008 at 9:15 pm

    When a person hug is not enough, I grab my Louie and squeeze the daylights out of him. I’m sure Polo would be available for that too. =) Love the colors in the picture. The couple looks like they’re really tall from this angle!

  25. Tanya Jose

    October 17th, 2008 at 9:26 pm

    oh jasmine, i am in one of these moments right now as well…sigh. do you want to just come over (to Seattle) & have some ice cream & watch girlie movies with me? LOL

  26. Annie Peterson

    October 17th, 2008 at 9:52 pm

    If this is any encouragement, I was THRILLED to be able to e-mail with you a little bit this week. 🙂 I hope you get a massive dose of JOY from Jesus in your week. 🙂

  27. Holli True

    October 17th, 2008 at 10:42 pm

    Jasmine- I have been there so many times. Overwhelmed and feeling awful. I want to be better, too. A better Mommy who has more time with her kids. A better wife who lets her husband know more often that she couldn’t live without him. A better Photographer who has mastered her craft and found her niche. We all go through it and it only makes us better and stronger. If we were the best at everything- what would be the point of living? We have to trials and tribulations. 🙂 I hope your days improve- I think you rock!

  28. Shannon McFarland

    October 17th, 2008 at 10:58 pm

    Hi Jasmine, I hope "we" get out of this funk REALLY SOON!!!! It must be the planets….the full moon maybe???? Surely we are not REALLLY this sensitive…are we???? I have declared today the last day of the pesky "FUNK" I hope you have a much better evening, & the smile, easy going, fun loving, easy laughing, happy attitude returns QUICK!!!!! Much Love, Many Blessings, & TONS of laughs, 😉 Shannon

  29. Shannon McFarland

    October 17th, 2008 at 11:11 pm

    PS..I almost forgot….Keep in mind that EVERYTHING happens for a reason!!! You are the EXACT person that you are meant to be, & this too shall pass!!! A challenge only makes you a stronger, better person…I am sure you will figure out the challenge soon, & conquer it…you know, like you tagged your mother in law out on her birthday….LOL!!! Much Love, Many Blessings, & TONS of laughs, 😉 Shannon

  30. Fishgirl

    October 17th, 2008 at 11:25 pm

    Tha happened to me but it’s PMS thingy!! u r lucky enough on having an nice hubby , mine not so much! so girl cheer Up!! and hug your polo!! and kiss him !!

  31. Emily Mason

    October 17th, 2008 at 11:35 pm

    I’ll be praying for you this week Jasmine!

  32. Joan Solitario

    October 17th, 2008 at 11:38 pm

    I hope you feel better soon! I think it’s just the most craziest year for a lot of us… But hopefully through all these comments, you’ll realize how much A LOT of people are behind you ;-D. Oh side note.. I just realized that your ADD A COMMENT page is sooo cool! It’s like a sheet of note paper!! How cool is that!?!?! I wish I had your creativity!!

  33. Halli

    October 17th, 2008 at 11:56 pm

    It’s funny that you post this because I too have had a not-so-easy week. And have cried over the simplest things, but "joy comes in the morning" and today has already been better. My hubby, however, has been on point with the snuggling and it couln’t be more appreciated. Best wishes for a brighter tomorrow.

  34. Mom to 7 Nana to 2

    October 17th, 2008 at 11:58 pm

    Jasmine…You are an amazing woman inside and out! I am so grateful to my inspired daughter for sharing your blog with our family! We love your work and we love your heart! God Bess You always!

  35. Karen (Mikols) Bonar

    October 18th, 2008 at 12:03 am

    I think there is a group called "snugglers anonymous" 😉 Hubby’s ready to sign me up too!

  36. kilipohi

    October 18th, 2008 at 12:35 am

    I know how much it sucks when weeks feel poopy. I had the same kind of week and wanted to snuggle, but for me there is no one to snuggle with. Sad I know…but I will have to keep praying and things will get better.

  37. Brieanna

    October 18th, 2008 at 3:12 am

    Oh I so know what you mean… most guys just don’t understand how absoulutely necessary a snuggle is when you are in a funk! I am finding myself in a very "ready to cry at the first sentimental commercial" mood as well. One bright and shiny thing to be happy about though is that I finally got the courage to comment on your website that I have been stalking for like a year now! It’s incredible what you have accomplished but I expected nothing less from you! You are an amazing person…you always have been and you always will be!

  38. Veronica Hinojosa

    October 18th, 2008 at 3:52 am

    I think that you are courageous for sharing your feelings so honestly on your blog. If only the rest of the world would wear their heart on their sleeves we would all be so much kinder to each other. If only we could all voice our emotions so freely. God Bless you for your honesty and openness. I bid you good mental health.

  39. Candice & Daniel

    October 18th, 2008 at 4:04 am

    * I think the people that are the most generous and kind are those that are hardest on themselves. Both of you couldn’t have been more genuine, giving, and honest than you were this week with us. If you think like I think, what goes around comes around, and you’ve got a LOT of good coming your way.

    …we ADORE this shot…thanks for the teaser….can’t wait!*

  40. deb schwedhelm

    October 18th, 2008 at 4:38 am

    Hope you’re feeling better soon. Thank you for sharing your ups AND DOWNS. It’s nice to know that we all have them. All the best,

  41. Caitlin

    October 18th, 2008 at 6:04 am

    Thank you for posting this – and your other post about taking a break once in a while — it makes me feel really good that someone so fabulous that I admire feels exactly the same way I do sometimes 🙂 Snuggling is my favorite thing to do, so I know it’s not the same, but here is an Internet *snuggle* – and a reminder, just one more day to this less than perfect week!

  42. Kelli

    October 18th, 2008 at 1:04 pm

    Jasmine, you are the most amazing person…and I don’t even *really* know you! I am inspired by every single new post. You challenge me to be a better photographer and to look at the world differently, but more importantly you challenge me to be a better person. You are so kind and caring and I want people that don’t even know me personally to think that about me. I completely understand having bad days, weeks, sometimes months! I will continue to pray for you and know in my heart of hearts that you already know all of this about yourself, but are just going through a rough spot.

  43. Jordana

    October 18th, 2008 at 2:44 pm

    I read this post while standing in a line, beyond frustrated and attempting not to burst into a hysterical fit of tears in public. Thank you for sharing yourself with the world and reminding me that we’re all in icky places at one point or another. But it’s the ick that makes the good oh so good.

  44. Angie

    October 18th, 2008 at 2:48 pm

    I could not help but wonder if you were down and out still, over what happened a few days ago. If so, just the fact that you are botherd, shows that you care. Caring about someone means more than anything. The best thing to do, is go to the one you feel you’ve hurt and just be honest. And then tell yourself that this is life and you’ve just learned one of it’s lesson’s and move forward.

  45. Sara

    October 18th, 2008 at 3:46 pm

    I’m the exact same way and this past week has taken it’s toll on me. I hope next week sheds some light on you!

  46. Theresa

    October 18th, 2008 at 7:10 pm

    Hey Jasmine…Go easy….It was the full moon….And it was a big giant one. That will get you every time!
    The moon is going away now to start anew, and now so can you.

  47. kimberlee

    October 18th, 2008 at 8:03 pm

    love you, my friend! xoxo

  48. sarah j.

    October 18th, 2008 at 8:07 pm

    I just happened to have the SAME kind of week. It feels good to know I’m not the only one. It reminds me of how girls are when I just watched the movie The Notebook and they break up and she’s kicking and hitting him and then switches on a whim to wanting him back. lol. We girls are full of layers and emotions but that’s why were Loveable 🙂

  49. Shannon Post

    October 19th, 2008 at 2:39 am

    Boy – it must have been the moon’s alignment last week or something? I had the same week – it is still not over yet though? I am looking forward to a brighter week in the future and hope it goes around to you as well!

  50. Ariana W.

    October 19th, 2008 at 3:16 am

    I totally Feel you Girl! There are those times when A girl just needs a big Hug! and maybe one that lasts a couple minutes! lol
    Your So Lucky to have a hubby that knows when it is time to give a snuggle!!!!!!!!!!!! I hope God Brings a guy like that for me!

    Ariana 😉

  51. Carlos Bruno

    October 19th, 2008 at 4:39 am

    Saving a HUGE pray for you now J.
    Get well soon …

  52. adrianna

    October 19th, 2008 at 5:05 am

    Something about the air blowing this week. Seems like it’s been a hard week for everyone. Know that you weren’t alone. GOD showed his graces to me and I’m sure he’ll show them to you, if he hasn’t already. Stay positive. =)

  53. Nancy

    October 19th, 2008 at 9:47 am

    If this makes you feel any better when you read it. I sincerely tell you, you have helped me regain confidence in myself. We have not met, but your positive energy has reached me.

  54. Kate Noelle

    October 19th, 2008 at 10:28 pm


  55. sandie

    October 19th, 2008 at 11:24 pm

    I am so right there with you! I know we are all going through different things at different times. but i fell you and i understand your needs! Hope your weekend was great an i’m wishing you a beautiful week to come!

  56. Jeremy Gilliam

    October 20th, 2008 at 4:35 am

    If this whole photography thing doesn’t work out for you…as if, you have a clear gift for writing. Your posts take us right along with you in your life.

  57. Ginger Murray

    October 20th, 2008 at 5:27 am

    Ha! Yeah, my husband always goes, "Do you remember me snuggling you this morning?" And I’m like, "No! I was sleeping! You need to do that when I’m awake more!"

    Deliciously colorful shot!

  58. Erika Lais Photo

    October 20th, 2008 at 1:59 pm

    Hope you feeeling better dear "friend", everebody feels like that sometimes… and you are a lucky girl cause you have JD and God with you!!!!

  59. Emily Mason

    October 20th, 2008 at 8:44 pm

    Love this shoot! The colors are beautiful! Love the mood!

  60. Angelica

    October 20th, 2008 at 9:13 pm

    Beautiful!! Where is the mural?!

  61. AndreaK

    October 20th, 2008 at 10:31 pm

    I love all the colors! Jasmine & JD you both rock! This is beautiful. May God continue to bless….

  62. Shelly

    October 21st, 2008 at 3:13 pm

    Jas, I am having one of those days. What helps me is listening to Martina McBribe "Do It Anyway" over and over….