The Fluffier Parts

Personal

The best thing about vacation is eating. Of course the museums and the historic statues are cool too, but the local cuisine is what I live for. Just after dinner every night, I’m planning where we’re going to eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner the following day. This behavior just didn’t start one day. It’s been like this since I was child. Heck, it was even worse then.

I grew up very overweight and just in case you’re wondering, I weighed more than my father when I was 11 years old. As far as chubby (fluffy, rotund, pudgy) kids were concerned, I was legit. Food was comfort. Food was home. Food was safety. When boys made fun of me, I’d grab a jar of peanut better and a loaf of bread and hide under my bed until I was in a sugar coma and the pain went away. This dependency on food has never disappeared. I look at the scale every morning and vow to start again. Start the battle against the bulge. Yet again.

On vacation, there weren’t any scales. Well, if I was being honest, I’d admit there was a scale in my hotel bathroom while in Australia, but I covered it with a bathmat. I knew I was eating a lot. I knew I was eating too much. But JD promised me we’d run it off the following day. Internet, I could’ve RUN BACK TO AMERICA and still not burned the calories I consumed. To be honest, though, I’m not sure I care.

I’m sitting in my office about to take off for the gym, but not without remembering the Australian pastries we ate late one night. Or the ice cream sundae we ordered to our hotel room in celebration of our last workshop. Or the multiple servings of Thai food in New Zealand. I’ve come to realize that while I may never look like the person I want to in my head, I also know that I’ll never be okay with who I am on the outside, if I’m not okay with who I am on the inside. On this recent vacation, I tried to appreciate me. All of me. The thickness. The jiggle where it shouldn’t. The parts I referred to as fluffy while growing up….that still remain fluffy. Everything is still there, but I’m working on it. And I’m trying to be okay with me. All of me.

**EDITED TO ADD**
I don’t have very many pictures of me as a child. For one, my parents didn’t own a camera, and, two, I avoided the lens like I avoided the Black Plague. I asked my my sister if she’d be okay with me posted the one photo I have of us during our awkward phase. There were moments when I was bigger, but for those who asked, this is me. Just fluffier.

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  1. Kenzie Shores

    January 15th, 2010 at 6:51 pm

    all I can say is… me too. 😉

  2. Amy Anaiz

    January 15th, 2010 at 6:55 pm

    I don’t know you personally but I do know that just from reading your words you are a BEAUTIFUL person inside and out! Your the embodiment of REALNESS and that’s as beautiful as it gets! JD + Polo love you for you fluffiness and all!! Don’t beat yourself up! You only live once.. Hey, I enjoyed a bag of m&m’s last night because I wanted to! lol! So your not alone! 😉 xoxo!!!

  3. Paige Butcher

    January 15th, 2010 at 7:08 pm

    I identify with this on so many levels! I think one of the hardest things in life is to be content with where you are and who you are. I wholeheartedly support your resolve to just be you 🙂

  4. Alicia Damron

    January 15th, 2010 at 7:12 pm

    You always look amazing in your pictures Jasmine, and I agree, I love vacation food!

  5. Inland Empire Wedding Photographer

    January 15th, 2010 at 7:13 pm

    I love this post.It speaks to me and the constant battle to be and look my best, but also I dont want to deprive myself. thats the dichotomy. I consider myself a foodie. I love food. But I also want to be confidant and feel beautiful..so my plan the last couple of years is to get excited about healthy clean food & learn new ways of preparing it and combining it.

  6. Karen Long

    January 15th, 2010 at 7:16 pm

    I only wish MY ‘fluff’ was as flat as yours. We could have a contest and I’d definitely win! A couple of co-workers and I were talking about this very subject earlier and what I said was, "well it’s a good thing I’m ok with my fat cells, they keep sticking around!"

  7. Angel Canary

    January 15th, 2010 at 7:17 pm

    You shine so much from the inside with beauty, I never paid attention to your body type. I just looked again, and I think you look stunning. I don’t think it matters, you just glow anyways.

  8. Tacey

    January 15th, 2010 at 7:18 pm

    Jasmine…I too, as a 10 year old wore shirts over my bathing suit, too ashamed to just be a kid and swim, not caring about my already formed cellulite…I struggled, obsessed, and even puked, all the while consumed with how I looked (and the truth was, I was a size bloody 6)…It wasn’t until after the birth of my first child, 12 years ago, that I realized, "OH MY GOODNESS…I WAS GORGEOUS the whole time…In fact, I would KILL to have that old body back"…You are beautiful, many would say ‘hot’…Your killer arms? Hello?? Thank you for sharing…But, please, don’t wait till after having a baby to realize how beautiful your body is NOW…Love ya. Going to my first eva studio session!!!

  9. Haley

    January 15th, 2010 at 7:19 pm

    awesomeness. as usual.

  10. Krista

    January 15th, 2010 at 7:20 pm

    It’s a hard thing to do, isn’t it? Even when other people tell you how fabulous you look (which you do!), there’s that inner critic reminding you about this or that little imperfection. Taking some of the power away from that voice, that’s worth working on and worth working out.

  11. Steph S.

    January 15th, 2010 at 7:23 pm

    Please, please read Song of Solomon 4:7, especially the second part of that verse…it’s revolutionized my LIFE.

  12. Damaris Mia

    January 15th, 2010 at 7:25 pm

    Jasmine, from what I see in pictures, you are not fluffy. I think a lot of us went through that.. being a chunky monkey in our youth. I know I was. My sisters poke fun at me every time they look at my pictures from high school (mind you, it’s only been 4 1/2 years since I graduated it). My mindset it, "Eat and eat it up! You only live once 🙂 but make sure you do something to work it off! You can do it J*!

  13. Corey Ann

    January 15th, 2010 at 7:27 pm

    You are seriously stunning and a little fluff is OK, it means that you are enjoying life – and that is a GOOD thing. Part of vacationing is enjoying the culture and part of that is food.

    Besides all of THAT, I saw the pic you posted yesterday and thought to myself "dang, she has amazing arms!" and you do. AMAZING.

    I’m sure I’m one of a million people that will tell you that you look amazing. But you do! 🙂

    Now go enjoy some of that Cadbury for me, delish

  14. michelle c.

    January 15th, 2010 at 7:27 pm

    Life is there for the tasting…

  15. rachel

    January 15th, 2010 at 7:28 pm

    I hear ya. When I was on my honeymoon (Italy) I could not get enough gelato. Seriously. I would eat it 2x a day! That’s what vacations are for. In my opinion, anyway!

  16. Alyse French

    January 15th, 2010 at 7:29 pm

    Jasmine, you are absolutely stunning. Promise!

  17. Melissa

    January 15th, 2010 at 7:37 pm

    You’re crazy, and I mean that in the nicest way possible. For you to think there is anything "fluffy" on you just can’t be true. Although I’ve never met you in person, I always think from your pictures that you must workout quite a bit cause you always look great. Just my two cents!

  18. Denise Saucedo

    January 15th, 2010 at 7:59 pm

    You are absolutely gorgeous!!! And don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise!!! I love food waaaay too much as well!! Problem with me is I don’t work it off. Booo! I need to, and I will start soon because I don’t wanna stop eating what I like. You are adorable inside and out. I hope you know how much you are loved. 😉 Even though you don’t know me, we are like BFF’s in my world. Heehee…xo Eat on sista!

  19. Theresa

    January 15th, 2010 at 8:01 pm

    You are perfect. Just the way you are. Today. You are perfection in the eyes of God.

  20. Erica Kree Larson

    January 15th, 2010 at 8:07 pm

    Thanks for posting this! It’s something I battle everyday too.

  21. tracy

    January 15th, 2010 at 8:08 pm

    please don’t take offense to this, but could you possibly post a pix of you in your ‘fluffy’ days. It may help lots of people (or even just one) to realize that ‘today’ is the day to love me inside and out, start loving themselves, or, take that first step to reverse the scale.

    As a kid, I too was quite fluffy, then I lost it all, but I’m fluffy again. So I understand about food and how nice and friendly it can be. Thank you – and please consider this as lots o’ people read your blog.

  22. Vanessa Tuau

    January 15th, 2010 at 8:14 pm

    Love how you call it fluffy!! I can completely relate and still remember, 20 years ago, visiting Hawaii and tasting Betty Crocker Frosting with sprinkles all through it. I’d fly there right now to taste that again 🙂 Vx

  23. Diana

    January 15th, 2010 at 8:15 pm

    It’s a lifelong battle, without a doubt. And a mental one much more than a physical one. I’m right there with you, and cannot tell you enough how much I appreciate your honesty on this subject. It always helps to know I’m not the only one. (fyi: NO ONE but you knows that you struggle with weight…you look FABULOUS!)

  24. Vanessa

    January 15th, 2010 at 8:34 pm

    I do this too, and then people say, "How was your vacation?" And I say," Good, I had the most amazing food." And proceed to rattle off in detail what I ate.

    Hey, some people shop, some people enjoy food. At least you can straighten out this overindulgence with exercise. Plus, what a great way to experience a new culture!

  25. michelle sidles

    January 15th, 2010 at 8:37 pm

    Thank you for posting this. 🙂 I can totally relate. I think there is real wisdom in some of the responses. Don’t wait to appreciate how great you look. I was so self conscious when I was young. Then I had two kids. And now I can see what I had then. So I’m trying to apply that same thinking to this current fluffy body. Appreciate it Michelle. You have no idea what you’ll look like in 10 years. 😉 hahaa!!

  26. Mel

    January 15th, 2010 at 8:53 pm

    Just what I needed to hear J*…I’m working on being OK with all of me too…it is a constant effort…and I am vowing to start again with you. What an inspiration you are!

    ps…yes I agree with others…your arms…seriously! Maybe you can share your workout routine for them in a future post?!?!? PLEEEEEZ! It can be a FAQ’s post right? 🙂

  27. Jasmine*

    January 15th, 2010 at 9:03 pm

    For those of who you who asked, I’m kinda embarrassed of my arms and how buff they look. I work out 5-6 days a week, but only lift weights once a week. Promise! 🙂 Working out and monitoring what I eat has been the biggest source of change. I cycle, kickbox, bootcamp, and core workout my way to living healthier. There are days (and nights) when I wish I could be like other girls who can eat what they want, when they want, but that could never happen without dealing with the consequences later. Losing weight boiled down to two things: 1. Eating less calories than I burn; and 2. Working out. That’s all. It’s a battle everyday, but I try my best.

  28. Leora Shiff

    January 15th, 2010 at 9:22 pm

    I too as a child wore large shirts and did not feel beautiful. I have learned to accept myself as I am– and i feel beautiful!!Jasmine, you are so beautiful its unreal. both inside and out. You are an inspiration.

  29. Renee

    January 15th, 2010 at 9:29 pm

    You are so real, honest, and brave. I admire that so much about you!

  30. B

    January 15th, 2010 at 9:30 pm

    Oh. Sweet. Lord. This picture was worse than I remember!!! I can’t believe I didn’t kill you as I sat on you?! Wow. Good times.

  31. Joyce D.Z.

    January 15th, 2010 at 9:31 pm

    I say this to myself all the time: It doesn’t matter what the scales tell me; what matter is what I say and think about myself when I look in the mirror. I was once almost 200 pounds and I am not ashamed of that as well. It is a daily struggle to stay in shape but I don’t call it a battle anymore, I call it a lifestyle. 🙂 Thanks for sharing! 🙂

  32. Lindsay Weidenhammer

    January 15th, 2010 at 9:37 pm

    Do you have a twin sister. or do you both just look alike? You both have awesome style!

  33. JenP

    January 15th, 2010 at 9:41 pm

    Inspiring.

  34. john pascale

    January 15th, 2010 at 9:46 pm

    Now that’s honesty! I am super impressed! We all have our battles and it’s about one day at a time! Thanks for sharing this

  35. Breanne Kessler

    January 15th, 2010 at 9:49 pm

    Jasmine, Thank you for sharing this personal photograph of you and your sister. I too know what its like to grow up fluffy and unfortunately due to 2 kinds in 2 years and my insatiable love of sweets and allergy to the gym and still fluffy. My goal for this year is a better me inside and out and I want to be the sexy person i know i am. I want you and all the current or former fluffy people out there know you are gorgeous, strong individuals. Its important to be healthy and happy with ourselves!!

  36. Leyla

    January 15th, 2010 at 10:03 pm

    Good for you Jasmine for being so open, honest and brave to expose your challenges like that! But you know what, when you do, you empower yourself, so kudos to you for being aware and for continuing to stay on the healthy track! =)

  37. nattnee

    January 15th, 2010 at 10:08 pm

    i wish i have your determination and discipline…i’m forever making excuses and putting it off =( but seriously jasmine…you look hot and we have pics to prove! and if you’ve worked so hard all these years, i reckon a bit of holiday treats is well deserved =)

  38. anna

    January 15th, 2010 at 10:13 pm

    i LOVE you a million times more after reading this post (if that’s possible)
    xoxo

  39. Michelle

    January 15th, 2010 at 10:19 pm

    Ha! I SO get this! I weighed 100 lbs. in 3rd grade. No lie. I remember it like yesterday because they asked the 3rd graders to go to the 6th graders room so they could weigh us. They were converting pounds into kilograms. That was back in the whole "we’ve got to learn the metric system like the Canadians" frenzy in the 70’s. I stepped on the scale and Lisa Clark yelled, "JACKPOT!". Seriously.
    Jasmine, the best part about you is that you’re not only beautiful on the outside, but you are absolutely gorgeous on the inside. Just thought you should know. 🙂
    And Lisa, if you’re a photographer and reading this: I forgive you.

  40. Noelia Kline

    January 15th, 2010 at 10:20 pm

    I am so glad that you posted this, because I too am fluffy…Well, a lot fluffier than you are, so I don’t know if that can still count as fluffy or should it be counted as something more.

    All I know is that I’ve gained 20lbs. since I met my husband, and I too would like to be the "perfect me," but I am happy with who I am. My husband loves me and I will not let these bad thoughts about my body get to me, not now. 2010 has a lot of great things in store for us, so lets march on with the face of victory and the bodies of little marshmallows…well, that’s my case not yours, lol.

    Jasmine, you ARE a STAR, and don’t you ever forget that. 😀

  41. Lisa

    January 15th, 2010 at 10:27 pm

    When I remember u both as teenagers, I don’t remember you as being fluffy, I just remember how friendly and very outgoing u both were and are! u r both beautiful and are good examples now of self control and eating good MOST of the time!!

  42. christine

    January 15th, 2010 at 10:33 pm

    I definitely don’t think "jiggle" when I think of you. Girl, your arms are freakin’ amazing…I would die for those. But I can totally relate. I think once you go through a chubby phase you always see yourself that way. I didn’t think I was skinny when I was 108 lbs and now that I’m 8+ months pregnant I look back and realize I was! Remember to focus on the positive. I think you look amazing. Your hard work has definitely paid off!

  43. Brandi

    January 15th, 2010 at 10:35 pm

    I was pretty normal sized until I was around 11 and then I got considerably ‘fluffy’ (thanks life stress) and I have gone up and down since then. Brave post Jasmine.. thanks for sharing.

  44. Kelli Taylor

    January 15th, 2010 at 10:45 pm

    Is it wrong that I want an ice cream sundae now?

  45. Anh

    January 15th, 2010 at 10:46 pm

    You made me laugh and cry at the same time with this post. I love how real you are. And i say this not to make you feel better about yourself but you are not fluffy at all. 🙂 You got cuts on your arms girl!

  46. Narrelle

    January 15th, 2010 at 10:47 pm

    Are you kidding, woman. I’ve seen you now and – trust me – you are amazingly beautiful, and totally perfect, inside AND out! I seriously get where you’re coming from though, and appreciate your honesty. I think as women we all struggle with the same thing. I seriously cringed when I saw the photo of us together because I felt so ordinary and frumpy next to you. lol. But you have a gift of making everyone feel otherwise. I’m glad you covered those scales up while you were here, and just enjoyed life. And those ice-cream sundaes.
    You’re beautiful, and you totally rock, just as you are. x

  47. whitney elizabeth

    January 15th, 2010 at 10:49 pm

    and you’re still beautiful j*! inside and out 🙂

  48. brianna

    January 15th, 2010 at 10:59 pm

    who are you and what have you done with my best friend who would NEVER post that picture in a million years?!! you and B have been having some epiphanies lately. first her covered in mud…now this! well, i still love you fluff or not.

  49. Fishgirl

    January 15th, 2010 at 11:01 pm

    Which one is you? if you were looking at my pictures then and before you would be like, I am ok, i have battle my obesity even since i was a kid, but i like me a lot just the way i am!!

  50. Alexandra

    January 15th, 2010 at 11:18 pm

    Love this post. So real.

  51. Kare

    January 16th, 2010 at 12:09 am

    Wow, you ARE one of us! I was beginning to have my doubts. 😉 Now you’ve made me want to go down under – just for the snacks.

  52. Nicole Glenn

    January 16th, 2010 at 12:31 am

    I will trade you arms, like right now. Serious. Don’t be embarrassed. The way you have impacted so many people’s lives speaks to what a beautiful person you are. Your external beauty is just the cherry on top. xoxo

  53. Jessica Moores

    January 16th, 2010 at 1:16 am

    Jaz, the last thing I think of when I think of you, is jiggle. Actually at the Freedom tour, my friend Dave and I referred to you as ripped! Anyway, I share your struggle, except mines the opposite, I was a string bean as a child and fluffy as an adult. Sigh.

  54. Meg

    January 16th, 2010 at 1:42 am

    Thanks for sharing such a raw and candid post. I can imagine how you feel.

  55. Meg

    January 16th, 2010 at 1:42 am

    Thanks for sharing such a raw and candid post. I can imagine how you feel.

  56. Diandra

    January 16th, 2010 at 1:42 am

    I cant believe either of you agreed to this! But you’reboth beautiful. And even then you were beautiful girls. I think you nailed it when you said you have to be okay on the inside first. I had an "akward" phase too… not sure I’m quite ready to post a photo… maybe I should take this as a challenge. And Bianca posted a picture covered in mud. Sheesh… you two…

  57. feuza

    January 16th, 2010 at 1:59 am

    Well said brianna, we love you fluff or not~ this is awesome, life like like there is no one watching

  58. Jennifer O.

    January 16th, 2010 at 2:06 am

    This is the first time I’ve had to deal with being overweight. Never thought it would happen to me. But having four kids took a huge toll on my 5′ 1" frame. Even my own mom says pics of me from a few years ago don’t even look at me. I’ve finally had it and am actually doing something about it. I have a goal to actually look better than I did before I had kids! 😉

    Oh and your post made me hungry…thanks alot! lol!

  59. Ginger Murray

    January 16th, 2010 at 2:08 am

    I think body image is something that so many of us struggle with. People smack me when I say I have a pudgy tummy, and that I don’t like how lumpy I am. Not that I just come right out and say that in conversation– just when someone tells me I’m "so thin."
    I have a thin frame–Yes. However, I am currently not healthy. "Oh whatever!" people say. Umm, are you looking at me naked? I didn’t think so. We each know what our bodies are, and what they are not. But we have to remember not to beat ourselves up over it– it is what it is, and if we want it changed, we need to do what it takes at that time to make the changes. And in the process, we need to still love who we are…which is so difficult sometimes. I didn’t get my hips until I was almost 25.. and even now (26.5), I still have a boyish figure. But at 25, for the first time, I was in denial in the dressing room when I was looking for a new pair of jeans. "I CAN’T be that size… It must just be this pair that doesn’t fit…"

    So, while we’re all different sizes, I think many women can relate to each other. I can guarantee, if it weren’t for my genes, I would be much larger, because I’m an emotional eater.

    Don’t beat yourself up after traveling… I weighed the most after I lived in Europe for 3 1/2 months. It would be a sin NOT to enjoy the food of another culture.

    I always have lots to say, but I guess all I’m really saying is, I understand what you are saying, and I want to encourage you to keep loving on yourself… and enjoy food, but enjoy exercising, too! I envy your workout routine:)

  60. Cathy Crawley

    January 16th, 2010 at 2:52 am

    Oh J* you have a gorgeous body! Those pastries weren’t anywhere to be seen on your bod, and I understand the fluffier part of life, I’m in it now and it sux. You were still pretty cute at 11, just so you know 😉

  61. Crystal Goss

    January 16th, 2010 at 3:19 am

    Everything behind this post is one of the many reasons I love you SO MUCH!!

  62. Kristi

    January 16th, 2010 at 3:23 am

    Wow! You know what’s super weird….I ALWAYS think you look SMOKIN’ pretty! I totally understand how you feel. But from random stranger who lives in a really strange isolated cold place….I think you look great. For reals. 🙂

  63. Jeannine McCloskey

    January 16th, 2010 at 3:55 am

    This is you. Beautiful as you are, both on the inside and the outside. You should be proud.

    Love yourself first, and then everything else falls into line.
    Lucille Ball

  64. Harmony Loves

    January 16th, 2010 at 4:07 am

    Jasmine! You are gorgeous! Then and now

  65. Teresa K

    January 16th, 2010 at 4:35 am

    I just love you for this post. TRULY. So many of us struggle with food issues and I love that you embrace that part of you and share all of it with the world. Food is not like a normal addiction, because you can’t exactly quit cold turkey. But honestly, you are so much just as beautiful on the outside as you are on the inside. We broke bread together and I got the wonderful opportunity to see how genuine and beautiful you really are. GOD shines so brightly in you.

  66. oksana j

    January 16th, 2010 at 5:52 am

    ur beautiful then and now…thank you for having the courage to share this..it’s very inspiring to me. 🙂

  67. Byron Roe

    January 16th, 2010 at 5:53 am

    Jasmine,
    I have to admit, after reading this blog post, I was not only frustrated but more adamant on what my purpose as a photographer is. It frustrates me that we’re all battling inadequacies drummed up from the past and continue to haunt us the rest of our lives. Our minds are so amazing but so devastating to our own selves when we let them. It not only takes one unflattering photo of ourselves to destroy what self esteem we have-it also, many times, takes one great self-portrait to rock our past perceptions, kick us in the rear and go, "I never knew I looked so good"! That’s what I want all my clients to feel!!!!!!!!!

  68. Brian Fletcher

    January 16th, 2010 at 6:46 am

    No matter what Jasmine, you’re always gonna be beautiful! Don’t ever forget that!

  69. jenny

    January 16th, 2010 at 7:05 am

    You look great the way you are. No need to change 🙂

  70. Juli L.

    January 16th, 2010 at 8:22 am

    Ok, this is too funny! I had no idea that you and your sister are twins and I clicked on your "my sister" link and was really confused…thinking ok does she have another blog??? Then after reading a bit I figured it out…lol! You are both beautiful just the way you are and I would have never thought in a million years that you had ever had any issue with weight. Thank you so much for posting this, I can definitely relate…and don’t worry about the extra eating while vacationing, that’s what vacations are for to just relax and have fun! 🙂

  71. Chanique

    January 16th, 2010 at 10:12 am

    I admire your courage for sharing these parts of your life Jasmine! You’re amazing and I love knowing that you know the God who created you as the crown of His creation and that you’re learning to love all of how He made you. You’re completely inspiring!

  72. Alison

    January 16th, 2010 at 1:12 pm

    I have finally reached a point in my life where I have to look back at my weight problems and face them head on. I recently blogged about it after one of my clients took a look at her family photos and verbally attacked herself. She and I talked for a long time about the fact that we may not be our ideal but what we see right now is the person who is loved by the important people in our lives. We can change that, but this is the here and now. I am in the middle of finally attacking weightloss with a vengence. It is hard. I don’t know that I will ever be happy with myself, but I am working hard because I want a different path for my daughter. Thank you for sharing this. Discussing weight is one of the hardest things ever and to do it publicly is even harder.

  73. Angel Pope

    January 16th, 2010 at 2:18 pm

    All I see is BEAUTIFUL! OK, so we’ve never met, but your blog really expresses your inner ‘you.’ And I just see beauty.

    The best part for you is you’re not only beautiful on the outside, but every bit and more beautiful on the inside!!!

  74. Emily

    January 16th, 2010 at 2:41 pm

    I’m new to your blog. Your honesty is refreshing. Your humility is even more than refreshing. Thanks for being real.

  75. Carissa

    January 16th, 2010 at 3:34 pm

    I needed this Jasmine. Thank you. Those two words don’t seem to be enough, but for now they’ll have to do. Thank you for inspiring me not only in my photography, but also in life, and for inspiring me when nothing else can.

  76. Melissa

    January 16th, 2010 at 4:01 pm

    Thank you for your honesty in this post. I was a chubby little kid, and I can still remember reading a doctors chart when I was like 12 and the description saying "Melissa is a happy, chubby little girl," I cried for days, just because he called me chubby. For years I became and intense calorie counter and lived my life so upset over those comments and whatever the scale said. It wasn’t until I got to college that I finally looked in the mirror and said "I am sick of hating myself because of a number." I don’t know what happened, but something just clicked in my head. I stopped weighing myself. I stopped doing a specific exercise at the gym because it had a higher calorie burn. I just tried to live my life in a healthy way by gauging how I felt. If I was full I would stop eating. If I felt lethargic I would go to the gym. I’m not as skinny as I would like to be, and I am sure if I stepped on the scale I would have a moment of gloom and doom…but on a day to day level my life is so much better LIVING and just trying ot be healthy instead of obsessing over my weight. And ya know what? Any weight you gained in Australia is going to come off but those memories of having fun and being carefree will last forever. Life is too short! You are a beautiful girl! Thanks for your honesty.

  77. Stacey

    January 16th, 2010 at 6:23 pm

    I am trying to learn the same things as you. I’m actually the opposite – where I weigh more now than I ever have and I used to have a really nice shape and figure. Granted, I’m not overweight and actually probably at a healthy weight now, and my boyfriend LOVES me the way I am. I just have to learn to as well, because to my friends, my family and those who love me, they don’t even see the things I do about me that bother me. I hope one day I can do the same, and so can you. You are stunning.

  78. Esther

    January 16th, 2010 at 6:24 pm

    You and your sister are AMAZINGLY GORGEOUS! I would have never ever thought that you were overweight as a child. I look at your photos now and think that "wow, she is gorgeous and so incredibly fit". Have you seen your arms, girl?

    You are perfect. I mean it.

  79. anda

    January 16th, 2010 at 6:49 pm

    jasmine, you are KNOCK OUT gorgeous. you know that, right?? 🙂

  80. ohana photographers

    January 16th, 2010 at 7:19 pm

    aw fluffy jasmine is cute!

  81. HeatherA

    January 16th, 2010 at 7:20 pm

    you=inspiring

  82. Karen Nou Yang

    January 16th, 2010 at 10:00 pm

    🙂

  83. Stephanie Stewart

    January 16th, 2010 at 10:41 pm

    Glad you enjoyed your trip, you deserved to have a fabulous time. You are beautiful, and you rock!

  84. Susan

    January 17th, 2010 at 1:00 am

    All I have to say is that I’ve always thought you were beautiful from the first day I came across your blog. And I never thought you were fluffy. 🙂 but I know how you feel, because that is my constant struggle…everyday. Maybe I should cover my scale too!!

  85. Amber Paterson

    January 17th, 2010 at 1:03 am

    Thank you so much for this! I was a fat kiddo, and always struggle now with thinking I’m still that same kid. It’s nice to know not every one was skinny since birth!

  86. Jenger

    January 17th, 2010 at 2:01 am

    Oh how I wish there was a like button like facebook 🙂 I agree I love your honesty as well.

  87. Leandra

    January 17th, 2010 at 2:49 am

    Thanks for always being honest. 🙂

    And I just have to tell you that from the day I stumbled upon your blog a year and a half or so ago, I always look at photos of you and think, "Dang, that girl is fit!" You look amazing!

  88. Valerie

    January 17th, 2010 at 3:40 am

    Just posting that photo is proof that you’re comfortable with yourself. :o))

  89. lauren waye

    January 17th, 2010 at 4:21 am

    well I would like to say that you are a hottie! it’s amazing how us girls always see ourselves as bigger than we are! (even after losing weight) just remember how healthy you are now 🙂

  90. gina

    January 17th, 2010 at 7:05 am

    totally hear you, but bravo to you for the beautiful woman you have become…

  91. Melanie

    January 17th, 2010 at 10:41 am

    You are stunning, then and now! You really are an inspiration

  92. Jessica

    January 17th, 2010 at 3:20 pm

    Jasmine… I’m not even sure what to say. I would have never guessed that weight issues were a part of your past- you’re so super hot in every way! I am so envious! Thank you for putting this out there for us and reminding us that fabulous people are human too.

  93. Anouschka

    January 17th, 2010 at 4:15 pm

    Jasmine, seriously you are gorgeous! You’re one of the most amazing people i’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting and you are beautiful!! And your arms, can i just admit i’m a tiny bit jealous at how amazing they look?
    I did not see one fluffy bit on you, seriously!

  94. Kristina

    January 17th, 2010 at 4:30 pm

    J you are GORGEOUS inside and out.

  95. twilight at morningside

    January 17th, 2010 at 5:57 pm

    Thought you might enjoy reading this memoir from Frank Bruni, the restaurant critic at the New York Times… "Born Round: The Secret History of a Full-Time Eater." 🙂

  96. twilight at morningside

    January 17th, 2010 at 5:59 pm

    Thought you might enjoy reading this memoir from Framk Bruni, the restaurant critic at the New York Times: "Born Round: The Secret History of a Full-Time Eater." 🙂

  97. Navy Sou

    January 17th, 2010 at 8:31 pm

    This is sooo inspiring, Jasmine! I hope one day you would talk about your struggles and how you overcame it. It would help alot of young women out there to hear your battles and to know that they can do it as well!

  98. amanda thiessen

    January 17th, 2010 at 10:51 pm

    I know the feeling of "fluffier" times. I’m 5"2…and at one point I almost weighed 200 lbs. And, had my head shaved and bleached blonde. It was not one of my finer moments. Definitely something that still haunts me. Thanks for posting this <3

  99. LEOLAK

    January 18th, 2010 at 1:16 am

    I bet all those boys who made fun of you in the past are EATING THEIR WORDS NOW!!! Thanks for sharing such a personal emotion. You ROCK as always..and I’m too ecstatic that you love Thai food too!!! Me too!!!

  100. Christa

    January 18th, 2010 at 1:31 am

    Fluffy or not, you’re beautiful!

  101. Lindsay Kipp Photography

    January 18th, 2010 at 4:49 am

    I always love reading your posts about everything you write, but I have to admit that this one hit home to me. I am also struggling with being okay with me, all of me, and it is very inspiring that someone I look up to so much has the same issues (or at least one of them) as I do. I know we have never met and you have no idea who I am but I do feel like we are friends and for that and your honesty with the world, I say thank you.

  102. Omi

    January 18th, 2010 at 7:50 am

    Oh Jasmine. You’re so lovely and brave. fluffy or nonfluffy!

  103. Kappe

    January 18th, 2010 at 2:24 pm

    Jas, you’re beautiful!

  104. Kathleen Porter

    January 18th, 2010 at 3:51 pm

    You are beautiful. You have a husband who loves you and a dog that adores you. You have a wonderful job, a fabulous life, and people who love you (I have seen photos!). I don’t have the answers, but enjoy the indulgences that life has too offer you and be good to your body. The fluffy parts are just God’s way of making cuddling more cozy. 🙂

  105. B

    January 18th, 2010 at 5:57 pm

    Okay, seriously, I still hate this picture. You. Owe. Me. And just because we still love food, you owe me dinner.

  106. Amanda :)

    January 18th, 2010 at 6:43 pm

    You are absolutely adorable! Although I don’t look it, I’m half mexican, which means there is LOTS of home made food in my familia and breakfast burritos are my weakness–especially when they are home cooked!
    This post was so relatable and made me heart you even more!! 🙂

  107. Katie

    January 18th, 2010 at 7:04 pm

    I love how you’re so open about your life. You’re truly an inspiration. Keep doing what you do, I can’t get enough!

  108. Beth

    January 18th, 2010 at 7:12 pm

    My husband and I were on vacation so I didn’t get the chance to read this post until now. You’re such a beautiful person both inside and out. You inspire me to overcome my challenges every day and your blog is like a breathe of fresh air!

  109. Erica Jackson

    January 18th, 2010 at 7:28 pm

    thank you for having the courage to share this..it’s very inspiring! I love reading your blog.

  110. Karen ReVelle

    January 18th, 2010 at 8:11 pm

    Oh gosh. I don’t even know where to begin. I grew up a dancer (over 20 years of ballet, tap, jazz, modern, musical theatre… you name it, I would dance it) and therefore, obsessed with my body image but simultaneously also NOT obsessed, because my mom was concerned with a healthy balanced diet for me, and everything I ate burned off immediately. I’m obsessed with health articles, what to eat, what not to eat, the Blood Type Diet (although I don’t believe in diets of any kind in general, but this was more health-based and DOES seem to ring true). But, I have my mom’s body, and after a car accident 11 years ago, I tore a ligament in my knee and was much less active for quite a while and subsequently, genetics started to kick in. And with adult life at that same time came adult responsibilites — I became a graphic artist. Instead of running around campus all day from class to class (including "fun" classes like raquetball and of course! — dance!), I sat on my booty all day and often late into the night. Gaining 5 lbs/year doesn’t seem too bad, but give yourself 6 years of that, and suddenly you look at a picture of yourself and wonder "How did I get so fugly?" I’m not kidding when I say my body image is seriously compromised at times. 5 years ago, I was engaged and started on the long haul to getting my lovely slim body back by getting a personal trainer (LOVED that!), but just over a year ago, life got crazy again. The girl who’d been diligently back to working out several times a week (and even was in an infomercial for Winsor Pilates!) suddenly just stopped and then I looked back a couple of months ago and realized I hadn’t gone in a YEAR! SO… this weekend, back I went to start on the long haul back to my former fit self. But Jasmine, you’re right when you say you have to be good with who you are inside as well as the outside. But it’s odd, the very images, stereotypes and preconceptions out there that we ourselves still feed into — having worked for Wet Seal HQ, I was retouching pictures daily of teenage girls who I already thought were PERFECT. And when we take pictures now, don’t we look for more than just fabulous clothes and hair and accessories? We still lean towards fabulous figures, too. No wonder we, as women in the United States, have such body image problems and that it’s become such a massive mental health issue, as well as a physical issue. And we are bombarded with images and articles everyday that we have to look a certain way and dress a certain way and act a certain way if we want people to like us. And yet at the same time, they are saying: "Embrace your individuality!" How do we resolve these mixed messages in today’s society??

    Jasmine, for what it’s worth, I think you are GORGEOUS and amazing, inside and out, as far as I am concerned. I know so many other people who obviously agree (just look at all of these posts!)! Thanks as always for sharing. And, I’ll apologize now for my long post. 🙂

  111. SHANI

    January 18th, 2010 at 10:32 pm

    Jasmine- I’ve seen you, and you are drop dead HOT!

  112. Christina Lee

    January 19th, 2010 at 1:36 am

    You look FABULOUS!!!

    I have begun to really battle the fluffiness as well since I have gained about 50 pounds over the last six years. I yearn to get back to my 110 lb. self. (I’m only 4’11" so 160 looks a LOT different on me than some others.)

    I’ve started doing Zumba classes three times a week and I’m determined to get fit this spring!!!
    You look fantastic Jasmine, but in the event you feel the need to watch yourself–you’ve got others out there fighting it with you!

    Love your posts!

  113. amanda thiessen

    January 19th, 2010 at 1:45 am

    btw – you are so DANG beautiful!!

  114. jenni

    January 19th, 2010 at 1:49 am

    jasmine- we’ve never met but I’ve followed your blog for awhile now. I think you are absolutely beautiful and your work reflects that! thank you for the candidness of this post- I appreciated it more than you know

  115. Kristi Garrett

    January 19th, 2010 at 3:19 am

    OMG! I was just blogging about the same thing (although from a few years hence). Specifically, mine’s about things that are none of the DMV’s business — like why do they need to know if you’ve gained a few pounds? That said, you’re a great reminder to me to watch it!!

  116. cassandra m

    January 19th, 2010 at 5:10 am

    the one thing that really stood out in that photo to me, is that you still have that same BEAUTIFUL SMILE! :))

  117. Rebekah Towers

    January 20th, 2010 at 12:39 am

    I love that you posted this. 🙂 You seriously are amazing. I love how much you share with everyone…I am sure that is one of the biggest reasons, other than your amazing work, that draws clients to you. You are real and they feel that. I am looking forward to beginning to do the same. Thanks for being such an inspiration. 🙂

  118. Linda Sherrill

    January 20th, 2010 at 1:33 am

    Weight is a touchy thing. Eventually all of us who have succeeded at everything BUT our weight come to the conclusion that we are good and loving people. Once that happens, we can objectively deal with the weight. I just wish it wasn’t such a long process.

  119. Erica Velasco

    January 21st, 2010 at 5:02 am

    Giiirrrrrrrl I got plenty of those pictures! And I had bad two front teeth and bottle cap glasses. Ugh.

  120. jeramy

    January 21st, 2010 at 3:41 pm

    good for you! GOD made you special.

  121. jenc

    January 22nd, 2010 at 4:53 pm

    you are So Cute!

  122. Stacey Malleck

    January 26th, 2010 at 6:51 pm

    Yes, I’m ready to be over the "de-fluffing"!!
    Thanks for your honesty. Jasmine, you’re always a breath of fresh air.

  123. Stephanie Osborne

    January 28th, 2010 at 6:19 am

    I know exactly what you mean about feeling good about the inside as well as the outside. I am a lot like you when it comes to food. There is a balance out there somewhere…. maybe when you find it you could let me know 🙂

  124. Krystle

    January 28th, 2010 at 6:06 pm

    It’s funny as I am currently smaller than I was in the 9th grade. As I am now healthier than I was 7 years ago I am also now more obsessive about it. What the?

    I also just had my graduation photos done and I told my photographer that I wanted these photos to be amazing because they were the ones that my kids are going to look back on and say "Woah! My Momma’s HOT!" 🙂

    Great blog!

  125. Rebecca

    January 28th, 2010 at 8:15 pm

    I know exactly what you mean. I started HS at a size 14 and graduated at a 22. I stayed there for 8 more years. Then one day I finally found the motivation to get healthy and lost a little over a hundred pounds. But, there’s a part of me that feels like I’m still that fluffy girl.

    On a side note, I found your sister’s blog through another site and had no idea you two were related. I totally see it now though!

  126. B

    March 3rd, 2010 at 9:16 am

    I checked out your sister’s site too. Sounds like I love her too!! But here I pose a question:: are you guys twins??

  127. Kassia

    April 26th, 2010 at 1:12 am

    Jasmine, you are one of my work out inspirations! I showed my best friend your blog today and said "I want to be like her and be a true beautiful woman inside and out."
    You are beautiful on the inside and the outside.