Working with Your Spouse

Photography

One of the questions I’m most often asked is if I get sick of working with JD. My answer is always no. And JD’s answer? Well, his fluctuates minute to minute. And if you know us personally, you know I ain’t lying! I am one of the most annoying, outspoken, driven, type-a, OCD, perfectionist, and singer you will meet. Yes, I sing. While being annoying. And outspoken. And all of the above.

Ever heard a girl sing Aretha Franklin while scrubbing the bathroom tiles with a toothbrush? Come to my house and you’ll be in for a real treat.

Let me just say we have far, far from a perfect marriage, but I will say we work very hard at making things work. At the core of everything, we choose love. We choose to love when we’re frustrated…choose to love when we’re angry…choose to love even when it’s the last thing we want. And working together adds another component many people don’t have to deal with, but we always adhere to keeping things in order: God, family, work.

Here are the Top Three Tips I suggest when asked how to make things work, when working with a spouse…
1. Keep regularly scheduled dates. Just yesterday JD and I decided to have a lunch date because life got hairy (i.e. I was barking at the moon) and we needed time to just talk and get refocused. Open and frequent communication is the cornerstone to a healthy working relationship…and a nice meal is always an added bonus!
2. Turn off. Yes, like turn everything off. Cell phones, computers, your brain. Sometimes I find myself so caught up with technology I want to tell people I’m living my life, instead of actually living it. I need to make a concerted effort to simply focus on the moment and relish real-life connectivity.
3. Never speak when angry. Oh, yeah. I just went THERE. Nothing will be accomplished when one or both parties are upset, and next thing you know you’re talking about his mamma…and, well, that’s never good. When you work with a spouse you’re bound to disagree, but taking a few minutes (or hours) to rethink the situation and possibly see it from his/her perspective can really make for a productive environment.

I hope this creates open dialogue in our industry and if you have extra tips, I’d love to hear them! I’ll make a list of all the good ones and make sure JD memorizes them…because, ya know, he’s the one who’s always WRONG. 😉

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  1. Trisha

    April 20th, 2010 at 3:45 pm

    THANK YOU for posting this! I struggle in this department. So true about rule #2! I get so caught up with telling people about my life instead of living it. Jasmine, you are such a wonderful person and that is why you are so loved!

  2. Nancy

    April 20th, 2010 at 3:45 pm

    OMG, you just described myself. I scrub my floors on knee, you know, to make sure I get every spot.

    Me and my guy are thinking of going as a team for wedding photography, thank you for the tips.

    Sometimes we will laugh at each other if we’re mad, it’s a great way to say "hey, it’s not that serious".

  3. MelissaFoscardo

    April 20th, 2010 at 3:46 pm

    Thank you for this post. I worked with my spouse before he was my spouse and it was great. Now, not sure if I could do it! I love the advice of "unplug" and boy, you hit the nail on the head when you said you like to tell people you’re living your life instead of living your life! I find myself thinking in 140 words or less to sum up an experience. That just ain’t right 🙂

  4. jennifer Buehrer

    April 20th, 2010 at 3:46 pm

    Someone once told us to argue in the shower…. I thought it was crazy at first.. but it works. My Husband and I go on a trip once a month (even if it is a bed and breakfast in the next town). We also schedule three hours of ahhhhhh relaxing time to catch up and just be friends.

  5. Kylie Noble

    April 20th, 2010 at 3:47 pm

    Thanks for that post, not speaking when angry now that is something I need to learn, although I did hear from my mum’s partner that she argues the exact same way as I do so maybe it is genetic 🙂 . My tip don’t bring up past hurts, it is best to leave them in the past and move forward (now I just have to practice this one a bit more).

  6. Cherisse

    April 20th, 2010 at 3:47 pm

    You two are ridiculously amazing! Thanks for the great tips Jasmine!

  7. Allison

    April 20th, 2010 at 3:49 pm

    Amen Sista!!!

  8. lumikha

    April 20th, 2010 at 3:49 pm

    aww…appreciate this post. sometimes my fiance and i fight so we limit working together at wedding gigs. i really appreciate that your open and honest on your blog. it’s one of my daily reads. thanks for the inspiration. 🙂

  9. shannon h.

    April 20th, 2010 at 3:50 pm

    i love this. my husband and i work together too. i wouldn’t have it any other way, but it is a tough balance. i fall in love with him with every wedding we do, but i also want to knock him out with ever wedding we do. ha!
    i think it’s important to separate "marriage" from "work" too.
    don’t make work become what your marriage is about.
    and also…enjoy it! i mean, really, how great and lucky to be able to do something so fantastic with someone you love!!!

  10. Michael Newman

    April 20th, 2010 at 3:51 pm

    Thanks for this! I’m a newly wed, 10 months today, and the book Love and Respect by Emerson Eggerichs is a great read for couples. The basic idea is that women need love and men need respect. If women don’t feel loved they act disrespectfully to their husbands, who in turn act un-lovingly to their wives, and the cycle continues. This is called the "crazy cycle." Someone has to step up and break the cycle. Anyway, a great book for anyone looking to improve their husband/wife relationship.

  11. Megan (Best of Fates)

    April 20th, 2010 at 3:54 pm

    It always surprises me how true is rule #3 – and how difficult it is to follow!

  12. michelle sidles

    April 20th, 2010 at 3:58 pm

    This is making me glad I work alone. 😉 Usually when I say something really unkind to myself I’m faithful to forgive myself rather quickly and tell myself how great I am. 🙂

  13. Angela Napiwocki

    April 20th, 2010 at 4:00 pm

    Totally agree Jasmine! Keeping priorities in order: God, family, work….it works for us!

  14. Wendy C.

    April 20th, 2010 at 4:00 pm

    I would love to be able to work with my husband. He is my rock! However… I can relate to some of your strategies because I am a work from home mom! I’ve had to create myself a daily schedule to stick to for my photography work, and not allow myself to work during my family time. Date night (or lunch) is important! Now if I can just figure out how to get people to get married during the week so that I can leave my Saturdays open for hiking with my dogs I’ll be happy! LOL!

  15. Karen Taggart

    April 20th, 2010 at 4:01 pm

    I totally agree! Great advice! I’ve worked with my spouse, Reid, in a few different jobs and wouldn’t have it any other way. If you always treat each other with respect…even when you’re angry!…your basic foundation will remain solid. All the day-to-day issues are just "fluff".

  16. Jennifer Brotchie

    April 20th, 2010 at 4:03 pm

    This post came just in time!! Nicely said Jasmine… I’d like to add hugs…at the beginning, middle and end to the dispute/convo stop and hug, it helps cut the tension… Have a grat workshop today!!!

  17. Melissa Papaj

    April 20th, 2010 at 4:04 pm

    Great advice! I love working at weddings with my hubby…it’s almost like we are renewing our vows every time we do a wedding 🙂

  18. Kelly Mendoza

    April 20th, 2010 at 4:05 pm

    Couldn’t agree more Jasmine. Thanks for posting this and best of luck to the two of you.

  19. Wendy Burgess

    April 20th, 2010 at 4:05 pm

    Great blog post! Being married myself for 11 years, it takes ALOT of work and always thinking that you are in this for the long haul. A partnership, there will always will ups and downs. You just have to ride the waves.

  20. Valdecir Carvalho

    April 20th, 2010 at 4:09 pm

    Hi Jasmine.
    Terrific post! I’m too work with my spouse and sometimes things go crazy here. Nice tips! We do try to keep our distance and individuality but its not always easy.

    Cheers,
    @valdecir РṢo Paulo, Brazil

  21. Brandi

    April 20th, 2010 at 4:10 pm

    I work with my husband as well, and we are both type A personalities, so it’s taken a little time but we definitely work together better than we used to. I am a big singer too.. However, I am prone to singing made up songs to my animals, about them and how awesome they are. I try to primarily do it alone, but I slip sometimes.

  22. Misty

    April 20th, 2010 at 4:17 pm

    SO true!! Thanks for sharing!!

    I love your work! You have so much talent!! God Bless!

  23. Kyla

    April 20th, 2010 at 4:18 pm

    I am so glad that my photog friends introduced me to you via FB. I love your insight and stories, and of course, your pictures!

    My husband and I both work from home on our own businesses and that creates a lot of craziness. Your suggestions are a great idea, because sometimes I want to stop the businesses just to be away from each other. But then we move on. 🙂

  24. Syreena B

    April 20th, 2010 at 4:19 pm

    Jasmine, you always have this weird way of being right on time 🙂 I was just telling my hubby last night ( after getting angry and whippin’ out my bossiest momma hit ) "I bet Jasmine doesn’t have this problem with JD!!!) make.his.skin.boil.. and the whole "i want to tell people I’m living my life, instead of actually living it"… ahhhh Jasmine, took the words right out of my mouth! And now that I have throughly over-punctuated this commentary … nuff said 🙂

  25. Melissa Gartner

    April 20th, 2010 at 4:21 pm

    I agree Jasmine. Priorities are a must and I love how your have ordered yours. God is always #1 on our list. One thing we try to do is take one day in the week as an OFF day. It’s our day to do whatever we want and not answer any work-related emails or phone calls. I look forward to that day every week!! 🙂

  26. alicia fierro

    April 20th, 2010 at 4:21 pm

    i have to add this. TAKE TIME TO LISTEN TO EACH OTHER. really listen. always. and since i also work with my husband, this absolutely applies to my weddings. he would have suggestions about shots and i’d be so "in the zone" that i would hardly give his idea another thought. i have learned to be open and willing to hear him. he appreciates this and thus, appreciates and loves me more.

  27. Jess

    April 20th, 2010 at 4:23 pm

    Thank you for this post! I don’t work with my husband, but I think all three of your points apply to keeping my marriage rich in general. And I agree thoroughly with Michael with the Love & Respect book; it’s excellent (and true)!

  28. Stacy Cross

    April 20th, 2010 at 4:27 pm

    You’re funny . . . and Stan and I are the same way – even down to our personalities. 🙂 My tips are to not say "always" or "never" when arguing. It puts the other one in the position of never having the option to change or grow. If I tell Stan he "never listens", then – just by saying that – I’ve told him that he’s never done it, he’ll never do it, and he’ll always be a big loser, which definitely isn’t true or even remotely how I feel. 🙂

  29. J.P.

    April 20th, 2010 at 4:27 pm

    My wife and I shoot together and I definitely can’t think of anyone I’d rather work with. Knowing how well she deals with me when I’m in "shooting mode" just makes me that much more delighted that she agreed to marry me.

  30. mike reed

    April 20th, 2010 at 4:31 pm

    let’s just say I don’t mrs. reed is quitting her day job!

  31. Sarah Brewbaker

    April 20th, 2010 at 4:31 pm

    Ha! I loved this post! My boyfriend and I co-own our photo business and I wouldn’t have it any other way! It is such a blessing working with someone who you love and care about!

  32. Liz Corona

    April 20th, 2010 at 4:42 pm

    Jasmine! Nick and I get asked the same thing. We started our photog business right after we got married actually; and you can see the progression in the business – just as in our marriage. Working together, for us, is a dynamic of our relationship that we wouldn’t change for anything. Sure that means we are together 24/7 – and we are definitely not without our disagreements, but it allows us to minister to each other in a way that most couples do not get to experience. One of our tricks to working together is – if we disagree on a business adventure or avenue, we both make lists of why we think it is a good decision and why we think it is not the best decision right now… we never tell each other "thats not a good decision"… we decide that its not the best decision for us right now. That keeps the communication open, focused on the topic and not hurling insults at the others ideas.

    Another aspect is praise – we make sure to praise each other and their efforts – because just like co-workers in any job, you want to feel appreciated and like you are making a difference at work.

    P.S. Amber and Eddie’s photos are almost done… we cannot wait for you (and them) to see them!!

  33. Marissa Rodriguez

    April 20th, 2010 at 4:46 pm

    It’s so funny that the couple of times we’ve gotten to chat with JD I always walk away thinking, "gosh he is so much like Eddie," and then when I read your posts, sometimes I’m like "gosh that is so something I’d do/say". So thank you for these tips, Eddie definitely needs them! HA! 🙂

  34. Mary

    April 20th, 2010 at 4:47 pm

    Wonderful tips..here’s another: Assume the BEST, not the worst about the other person.

  35. Maggie Mudd

    April 20th, 2010 at 4:50 pm

    This is wonderful! I read your blog daily but comment rarely. I love this post, thak you for writing on this subject. I am new (and by new I mean a crying infant) in this business but I also work with my soon to be hubby. I may give you a run for your money Ms. Star when it comes to "howling at the moon". I also have a fantastic almost husband who puts up with me and reminds me I’m not as crazy as I think I am. I owe a lot of my business to him. (and to you)

  36. Jill

    April 20th, 2010 at 4:52 pm

    Great advice. Especially the priorities of God, Family, Work. We love working together…it’s such a blessing! But the unplug time is a little more challenging with 5 kids around!

  37. Mikkel

    April 20th, 2010 at 4:54 pm

    You crack me up. 🙂 I <3 how much your voice and personality comes through your posts! Thanks for sharing!

  38. jenberry

    April 20th, 2010 at 4:56 pm

    well said. when we work together, i always try to step back and think how i would address a situation if i wasn’t with my husband and with a non-relative instead. it helps keep things in perspective.

  39. Lisa

    April 20th, 2010 at 4:59 pm

    Just yesterday I decided to "teach" my boyfriend how to use my old SLR. We went out and about and I realized how much more I enjoyed photography when he was around. My passion grew and his started. We are going to try and work together from here on out and I really hope that it goes well. This was a perfect day to read this post.

  40. Liz Maryann

    April 20th, 2010 at 5:00 pm

    Thanks Jasmine!! My boyfriend and I have been together since high school (10 years this October) and we work together as photographers 🙂

    We work so well together that I think we can get through anything together. You and JD should sign up for the amazing race, hahaha 🙂

  41. nicolenjoli

    April 20th, 2010 at 5:02 pm

    I feel you on this!! Dont let it get to the point of you talking about his mama!! 🙂 lol….that made me giggle- its funny but the wife is always right in our house too! Communication is def. key!

  42. Julie

    April 20th, 2010 at 5:07 pm

    Cherish your spouse, my husband and I worked together tll he became ill. I’m having a hard time without him and his camera backing me up and being there with me. Life’s short, enjoy each moment together because those moments can come to an end and you’ll miss them so very much.

  43. Dee

    April 20th, 2010 at 5:15 pm

    I really need to work on # 2 and # 3. oh boy! =/

  44. HL

    April 20th, 2010 at 5:25 pm

    good tips :). another good one is to learn to recognize the difference between being mad at the person and being mad at the situation. more often than not, you’re mad at the situation.

  45. James

    April 20th, 2010 at 5:26 pm

    #3 is the one right there, so easy to speak out of line when you get upset. People say the most horrible things to the ones they love when they’re angry. Beautiful post!

  46. Amy Paulson

    April 20th, 2010 at 5:32 pm

    So beautiful…

  47. Carrie Brownell

    April 20th, 2010 at 5:53 pm

    HAHA! I loved this list! My husband and I also shoot together and I identified with everything you said here.

    God, family, work. That’s the perfect order and it’s one we strive to maintain as well!

    (When you’ve completed this list, send it my way and I’d like to have my husband memorize it also! ;D

  48. Brittani

    April 20th, 2010 at 5:53 pm

    lol
    I pretty much have this area of life down pat! I’ve been working with my love since the day I met him!
    And now I have my own job; to be honest, I don’t like it as much as I like working with him!

  49. Tira J

    April 20th, 2010 at 5:53 pm

    Great post Jasmine! Here is my advice: Your spouse is your biggest fan, toughest critic, best listener, and the one who will always be in your court when the rest of the world isn’t. It has taken me a long time to accept the constructive criticism my spouse is offering me when it comes to running our business. Another lesson / piece of advice is to not get on the defensive with your spouse when he/she is offering that constructive criticism. You may think it is just my hubby/wife, I can do that. NO WAY! Having those open lines of communication as you mentioned in the post is so important. Take it from someone who has been married almost 10 years and has been through the thick and the thin of life and cried a lot of tears with the growing pains of a business. I am sure there are readers who may have been married longer. Marriage isn’t easy and every single day, you need to work on it, and remember to keep God as the center. 🙂 Oh and that is a great picture of JD!

  50. Courtney Dellafiora

    April 20th, 2010 at 5:55 pm

    Jasmine, you hit the nail on the head! Love this post! I work together everyday with my man as well and I completely can relate to this post! You are so right about everything you said. Thank you for writing this! You remind me I need to LIVE more. I heart you Jasmine!

  51. Katelyn James

    April 20th, 2010 at 5:56 pm

    love u. 🙂 I’ll be hoping for more marriage/working together/how-to shut off the computer posts in the future:)

  52. PAPI

    April 20th, 2010 at 5:59 pm

    Jazzy. I am surprised you omitted the Twelve-Words…words assured and guaranteed to preserve and conserve one’s marital union:
    1. I am sorry
    2. I was wrong
    3. It’s my fault
    4. I love you!

    After more than thirty-seven years being with your mum….sheeeeesh!!!

  53. Jyl

    April 20th, 2010 at 6:00 pm

    My husband and I made it a rule that we would NEVER resort to name calling during an argument because that would mean we’d lost respect for one another.

  54. Lynn

    April 20th, 2010 at 6:07 pm

    Something I hope we have one day is separate offices. We have different work styles, and have separate needs when it comes down to doing work at crunch time. Like if he’s listening to the wrong music when I’m trying to do a final edit on an album, it makes me INSANE. And let’s just face it, if you live and work together, there are times you just want to be ALONE, right?

    Plus if we have separate offices, we could find out once and for all who’s really the messy one. 🙂

  55. amanda thiessen

    April 20th, 2010 at 6:21 pm

    completely agree! 🙂

  56. Kevin

    April 20th, 2010 at 6:28 pm

    Thank you for this post. I will be getting married in 32 days and Corrine and I…because you should know her by her first name….had classes with our Pastor and date night is a must. We are learning to not get frustrated by going out to eat either…we have found that cooking ourselves not only saves money…but alot of times tastes better. ( Ok she cooks most of the time and it is really good!…I make the brunch stuff) The priorities of God, Family and work is a MUST! Thank you for not only sharing your life but doing it in a way that is fun for others to read!

  57. Kristin

    April 20th, 2010 at 7:01 pm

    Love that you posted this. Brandon and I were just talking this morning about how to work more effectively together. We’re definitely figuring it out but it’s a fun process for us. 🙂

  58. Shannon

    April 20th, 2010 at 7:09 pm

    My husband and I are having a computer free weekend getaway this weekend. It’s going to be so great!

  59. Susannah

    April 20th, 2010 at 7:23 pm

    Thanks for the input, Jasmine. Working my husband is quite humbling and at the same time quite a blessing!

  60. Leyla

    April 20th, 2010 at 7:53 pm

    Great, great post.. Love all the tips and advice… I couldn’t agree with you more! =)

  61. Paola

    April 20th, 2010 at 8:00 pm

    Amen to this sista!! Regardless of whether you work together or not, this was wonderful advice!! I especially love the first and last one! The 2nd, I’m totally guilty of, but he raised it to my attention and I am now a recovering iPhone-FB-aholic.

  62. Evie Perez

    April 20th, 2010 at 8:17 pm

    Wow!!!! You were totally reading my mind. Thank you so much for this post. I was just asking myself this question last week. I love seeing how much you and JD love each other and support each other. My husband is amazing and if it wasn’t for his support, I would not be able to do this. He is my backbone. I will admit there are times when he gives me advice and I do not adhere to it. I have to remind that he does know what he is talking about and only wants the best for me. Thanks again!! Love ya 🙂

  63. Jason

    April 20th, 2010 at 8:20 pm

    Love the order…God, family, work. Right on!

  64. Sarah Frenzel

    April 20th, 2010 at 8:34 pm

    Great thoughts, we also get asked this a lot! Derek and I definitely have our days!! What’s helped us is… a book called Love & Respect (great principles for any relationship), making sure to seperate work, personal time, and family life…we TRY to not talk about work at dinner, on date nights, or when we are playing with our kids, etc. We’ve also found that the more clear we are on responisibilites the better, and the more scheduled we are the freer we actually become to NOT work around the clock. Also, I depserately try to remember how I would or wouldn’t talk to a fellow co-worker, or boss…why do I find it ok to bust out the sass with my hubby, but never would with a coworker!?! And for JD… wives who work (especially after you have kids) need alone time! So make sure she goes out for a walk, pedicures, coffee with friends, shopping trips, etc. 🙂 And above all remember that a thriving relationship is ALWAYS more important than staking your claim on a point!

  65. Hilton Pittman

    April 20th, 2010 at 9:14 pm

    I feel ya Jasmine! Not only do I work with my wife, I also work with my mother, thats right, my mom! It gets pretty CRAZY at times, but we learn to deal with by doing the things you just mentioned.

  66. Stephanie Stewart

    April 20th, 2010 at 9:21 pm

    Great post! Love your priorities, I need to remember that myself. It’s so easy to get wrapped up in technology, projects, clients, planning, etc. It’s so awesome to hear how you guys work to make it work. Love it!

  67. Nannette "Nanny"

    April 20th, 2010 at 9:30 pm

    I have no extra tips at this point as I am a twice-divorced 42-year-old grandma blazing trails. However, I sat there at the Cypress College expo watching you and JD work and thought the very same thing. HOW do they do this together?

    I reconnected (on Facebook) with the boy I was madly in love with when we were 15 years old. He’s taught me that I had a difficult time receiving love. And just by observing you and JD at Cypress College and from your blog posts, I see that he loves and accepts you for who you are. And that’s the one thing I had to learn to receive.

  68. Karissa Tuckwell

    April 20th, 2010 at 9:49 pm

    Can I get an "Amen" cant agree with you more. Priorities. need to keep a check on these once in a while dont we??
    Rule No. 4- Never discuss something really important or bring up a prob when your super tired & for me hungry!! The non-reasonable beast comes out!!!

  69. Allison Carenza

    April 20th, 2010 at 10:06 pm

    Jasmine,
    I too work with my husband in my photography business and I love it most the time. I think he does too, I agree open communication is so important but also remembering to tell the other peson good job, or thanks for doing that. I get so caught up in my dreams I sometimes forget that he is sacrificing some of his for me. THANKS for the reminder. I’m going to do that today!

  70. Trish

    April 20th, 2010 at 10:15 pm

    Never go to sleep angry @ eachother. Oh & kiss & make up.

  71. Cathy Crawley

    April 20th, 2010 at 11:17 pm

    I can totally relate to point #2. I have to totally switch off the internet when I have work to so on my 3 office days. It makes such a huge difference! And, since your workshop you’ll be pleased to know that I’ve taken on board some of your ideas and have 2 whole days off! Woo hoo!

  72. Serendipity Photography

    April 20th, 2010 at 11:51 pm

    Great tips Jasmine!

  73. Damaris Mia

    April 21st, 2010 at 12:57 am

    This is great, Jasmine! I don’t work with my husband but this is advice that can help in everyday life! Thanks!

  74. Penny

    April 21st, 2010 at 1:23 am

    Remember, if you don’t want him there is slways someone out there that would die to have him. And how would you really feel if he was gone? I mean really gone! Life is too short, love while you can.

  75. Amy Arrington Photography

    April 21st, 2010 at 1:38 am

    Amen! I can completely identify with you on this, Jasmine!

  76. aMaNdA

    April 21st, 2010 at 1:40 am

    I use the song by Warren Barfield from the Fireproof soundtrack "Love is not a fight but something worth fighting for"

  77. marissa nicole

    April 21st, 2010 at 2:47 am

    great comments. thanks for sharing! my husband and I don’t work together, but he told me my technology habit was driving him nuts and that he hated the computer because it was taking me away from him, so I decided that I was leaving technology out of the bedroom, off the couch, and was limited to a few minutes at a time on the computer. seemed to have worked pretty well and I sleep better too!

  78. Liz

    April 21st, 2010 at 3:06 am

    The old cliche` never go to bed angry does not work for me. I can be so mean when I am tired and angry. Usually I am much more level headed after I have slept for 8 hours and I find that most of the time the issue is much less of a big deal in the morning. Also, My grandmothers advice to me when I got married was never, never, never share your frustration about your husband with your mother. You can forgive and move on but it is much harder for a mother-in-law to forgive and forget. May not work for everyone but sure works for me.

  79. jean smith

    April 21st, 2010 at 3:28 am

    THANK YOU for this post! my hubby and i work together…both doing photography. so great to hear your take on how you do it!

  80. s h e r r y

    April 21st, 2010 at 3:50 am

    🙂 <3 🙂

  81. Angeline

    April 21st, 2010 at 3:56 am

    Just had a row with my partner. Over something small. Something that has happened over and over again.

    I was kinda roped in to help him and now am supporting him (though at times feel forced to do so) in his photography business. However, when I need his support, I do not feel I am getting it.

    One thing I learned is that one has to find the root cause of the problem and settle it before it crops up again. And never go to bed angry.

  82. Max

    April 21st, 2010 at 4:36 am

    Hey Jasmine, thanks for posting this. I get to work with Kristy sometimes and its truly a blessing to share a passion for a job that we’re so so lucky to do. My dream is to one day (hopefully within 2-3 years) quit my job and have photography be "IT" for us. We’re pretty good at the communication bit but could definitely learn to "argue" better. Every now and again, we sneak off to the grocery store on a mini-date (pretty much anything kid-free qualifies as a date now-a-days)…. So yeah, thanks again for the post!

  83. Kaysha

    April 21st, 2010 at 7:50 am

    You don’t speak when your angry?!?!? Wow I’m impressed, that is something I could seriously use some working on! 🙂

  84. Daz Vernon

    April 21st, 2010 at 11:00 am

    I don’t work with my spouse: I’d drive her mad or she’d drive me mad! Either way there’d be trouble.

    I reckon your advice holds true for relationships in general. Partners need to make time for each other and just back off from the fast paced stuff such as technology every now and again.

    The post could have easily been entitled ‘LIVING With Your Spouse’

    Great advice! I wonder how many of us truly adhere to it 😉

  85. miranda

    April 21st, 2010 at 11:14 am

    you scrub your bathroom with a toothbrush??? Do they not have scrubbing brushes or mops in America????

  86. ben

    April 21st, 2010 at 1:21 pm

    mindy and i LOVE working together. we do always joke with servers at restaurants though that we’ve spent the whole day together and therefore when they see us both on our phones, it’s not because we’re mad at each other… it’s just that at that moment we’re not needing more time together. we’re literally there on a break. our main tip is to make sure that there’s clearly defined roles in the business, and then to respect each others’ space and work. good conversation

  87. cindy

    April 21st, 2010 at 1:23 pm

    great reminders, thanks jas!

  88. Dawn McCarthy

    April 21st, 2010 at 5:16 pm

    Great post J*. My marriage philosophy and advice is simple…in order to make your marriage work you must clock in every single morning! The trick is…you can never clock out. I will celebrate my 10 year anniversary in June and there have been many days where I wanted to "clock out" but I didn’t. It’s a choice. A commitment. Clock in. Clock in. Clock in.

  89. michelle c.

    April 21st, 2010 at 7:12 pm

    thanks for this. really. it was great to be able to sit down & pick JD’s brain at dinner last night. One thing he said to all of us… his main "job" is just to be there for you. Seriously. He said that he can’t always understand the technicalities of what you’re going thru, but his job is to just be there & support you and let you know that you’re not alone. I found that fantastic, and wanted to let you know that it had been said. (You were at the other end of the table at the time.)

  90. Colorado Wedding Photographer, JasonG

    April 22nd, 2010 at 1:01 am

    As a (soon to be) husband and wife photography team – this is a fantastic post. Simple, basic, to the point. The second point is the absolute toughest. When do you turn it off?

  91. Kai Yambao

    April 22nd, 2010 at 2:31 am

    God, family, work (=

  92. Carolyn Clement

    April 22nd, 2010 at 3:43 pm

    I agree that this goes for relationships in general, whether working together or not. It takes work to maintain something so special…no secrets, just work xo

  93. jeramy

    April 22nd, 2010 at 6:39 pm

    can i get an amen! seriously good stuff!

  94. Robert

    April 22nd, 2010 at 7:55 pm

    Very good advice!

  95. Willa Kveta Photography

    April 23rd, 2010 at 9:34 pm

    I really love how you spoke openly and candidly about your marriage and relationship. People somehow thing marriage is this ‘perfect’ thing that happens before they get married. It takes work and dedication every day and a tremendous amount of love and respect. Thanks for sharing a bit 🙂

  96. Kristie

    April 26th, 2010 at 4:30 am

    I just laughed out loud when you mentioned "talking about his mamma…" Been there! Great post. I might need to come back and reread it from time to time : )

  97. Evonne & Darren Photography

    April 26th, 2010 at 10:28 am

    We are still learning how to balance work and personal life… but so far we really enjoy working and shooting together. There is just nothing better for both of us to do something that we love and enjoy. You and JD continue to be our inspiration, so thank you for sharing your life with us!

  98. Kaycee

    April 26th, 2010 at 3:11 pm

    Great post! Especially of the part of choosing LOVE!

  99. Chanelle Segerius-Bruce

    April 30th, 2010 at 9:28 pm

    we are also a husband and wife team and things can be difficult at times. We need to remember why we started doing this – and to travel & shoot together is so amazing. I would hate to be stuck in a 9 to 5 that I hate.

  100. Tracy

    September 24th, 2010 at 3:31 pm

    Thanks for the tips!

  101. Melanie Soleil

    February 6th, 2015 at 11:27 pm

    Thanks so much for this Jasmine…..it soooo sounds like Andy and I! Glad to know we’re in good company.
    🙂