There’s an awkward conversation I often shy away from. I don’t talk much about the impact my daughter has had in my business.
I don’t talk much about it because—quite frankly—I’m trying to figure it out. I’m a first generation Latina, entrepreneur, and CEO/mother. I’m a self-taught business owner, so adding a toddler to the mix has been…well…interesting.
I’m tired in new ways (my tiredness is tired), less productive, and feel like I’ll never catch up (my to-do list is longer than a CVS pharmacy receipt). My daughter crashes my Zoom meetings (often with a guitar in her hand and Playdoh smashed in her hair), and scribbles on every piece of paper on my desk (why, yes, contracts too).
She insists on morning dance parties in the kitchen, avocado toast, long bubble baths, and a nightly massage. Y’ALL I AM ON DAY FOUR OF DRY SHAMPOO AND THREE LAYERS OF EYE CONCEALER.
And I couldn’t be happier.
I’ve strengthened just about every mental muscle to find a way to maintain sustainable work levels…and the business continues to grow.
A few months ago, JD and I scheduled a date to talk about my travel plans for this year. There was a lot of invitations, but I didn’t want to be away from my family. Instead of asking, “Why do I have to say no to these opportunities,” I asked, “How could we make it work?”
One of the best business lessons I learned is to ask better questions.
I now ask questions that invite possibilities and creative thinking, instead of dead-end questions.
We asked each other what we’d need to make it work and after brainstorming, we decided to commit to traveling as a family for 12 months. I mean, does this sound crazy? A little, yeah.
But does it thrill us to chart our own path and make memories? A lot, yeah.
Let’s chat about how you can avoid Dead-end Questions…
- A dead-end question leaves you feeling dread, resentment, and victimized. Instead, ask questions that challenge you, force you to get creative, and invite your imagination to go into overdrive.
- “Why does this always happen to me?” ➡️ ”What can I do to change things in the future?”
- Dead-end questions don’t have logical answers; they are fraught with emotions and fictionalized outcomes. Instead, ask questions that appeal to logic and can correspond with a set of actions to take (not playing out worst-case scenarios).
- “What if I never figure this out?” ➡️ ”What new approach can I take to figure this out?”
- Dead-end questions can easily be answered by your past mistakes or missteps; essentially, you’ll defer to using the past to define the future. Instead, ask questions that empower you to act like your Future Self…what questions could you ask that get you closer to your future goals, not your past mistakes?
- “Who would ever buy from me without experience?” ➡️ ”How can I show my professionalism apart from my experience level?”
Lastly, in a moment of full candor, people have sent messages and emails about my parenting choices (listen, you wanna rile people up? Get them talking about sleep schedules! mobile devices! sugar content! car seats in rental cars!…and more!).
While I appreciate their concern, JD and I are okay making decisions according to the questions we ask ourselves.
At the end of the day, I’m just a girl trying to follow my dream, and raise a daughter to do the same.
Guitars and Playdoh,