Are you ready, boo boo?
I’m about to save you decades of time, stress, and self-loathing. Just give me two minutes to speed-walk through the lifetime it took me to learn this lesson:
>>Nobody will give you freaking permission if you don’t give it to yourself.<<
For most of my life, I looked at other people to get validity for the things I wanted to pursue. I had my reasons, too…or so I thought.
- My parents are immigrants.
- I’m a first generation Latina born in the U.S.
- My dad didn’t learn to read until he was 27.
- I didn’t learn to read until I was 11.
- My parents didn’t go to college.
>>As it turns out, these were all just excuses I used to remain paralyzed in self-doubt.<<
I went to college on a full scholarship with the intent of studying English. First semester of my freshman year, an English professor told me, “I can tell you come from an immigrant family by your writing.” She didn’t think I could be a writer.
After my life-long dream was squashed by a single comment, I set out to find approval elsewhere. I began studying business, and my marketing professor told me, “You can do this.”
So I did it.
But then I got the urge to do something bigger with my life so I could help other people. *The little dreamer in me is a total MMA fighter, let me tell you!*
I then went to law school with zero intentions of becoming a lawyer. Rather, I thought a law degree would be the key to making policy changes and defending people without a voice…but then I dropped out.
>>I was on what seemed like a validation roller coaster. As soon as I managed to crawl to the peak, gravity would take over and I’d fall back down again.<<
Picking myself up once more, I started my own business. There was just one problem: nobody in my community had started their own business, so I didn’t have anyone to turn to.
This law school dropout then applied to business school.
Why? Because I still thought that getting my MBA and having a piece of paper would prove that I belonged.
My entire life, I was looking for permission. I was waiting for someone to say, “It’s okay doll, you can go and do it now.”
But I don’t wait for that anymore.
I hopped off the validation roller coaster because I realized what I was searching for from everyone else was within me all along.
The only person that can give me permission is ME.
>>When I stopped waiting for permission, my life truly began.<<
Here’s the lesson, Buttercup, in case you haven’t figured it out already:
- When you allow somebody else to tell you what to do, you will be perpetually sad, dissatisfied, and overwhelmed.
- When you take matters into your own hands and make decisions on your own accord, you will forever be empowered and fulfilled.
It doesn’t matter if things don’t turn out the way you had planned. What matters is that you are staying true to yourself. *And I will clap that up every day of the week!*
Don’t ask for permission, my friend. Demand it.