Dear Jasmine,
I have my VERY first wedding coming up, THIS WEEKEND!
I'm usually not very nervous about things, but this is different. Recently someone told my competition that they are “an exceptional photographer” but that person never extended the compliment to me. I'm not only crushed, I want to pack up, sell my gear and find the nearest rock to crawl under! I battle every day with confidence in my work. I ask myself, why are you even going pro, you're not good enough. And when someone made those comments, it was as if they were just telling me that everything I thought negative about my work was true!
This recent blow has made my anxiety, fear, and nerves go into over drive. It gets so bad it makes me start to cry. I don't know what to do and I can't let these people down. (I'm crying writing this message) I can't wrap my head around why it's bothering me so much. Can you give me any pointers on how to get through this… Alive?
Sincerely,
First Time Wedding Photographer

Dear First Time,
You can't wrap your head around why it's bothering you so much? Really? If you're anything like me–and a lot of my peers–you're bothered because someone verbalized your private insecurities and you're letting the words define your ability. Most creatives have been there before. It's awful, it's sticky, it makes you feel like your work will never be good enough. I feel you.

But here's where I'm going to be painfully truthful: it's never going to stop. Someone will always voice the thing we fear the most about our creative capabilities. If you can't deal with the negativity, then pack up your gear and choose a different profession. Does that sound mean? I hope not…it's simply the truth.

Here's what someone recently posted on Facebook about my work:

I've been a wedding photographer for almost nine years…and I still get nervous posting new work to my blog. But instead of letting someone verbalize my own fears, I choose to see past the pettiness. My business mission isn't to get compliments from photographers, it's to make my clients proud of their photos and love the experience I provided for them. And your business mission should be to make your clients proud of the photos you captured. If we do this, then we're succeeding. If we do this, raucous fear silences and we can move forward confidently with our cameras in our hands.
Shine On,
j*