Dear Jasmine,
I have only been taking photos for about a year. When a former coworker asked me to photograph her wedding I was excited but hesitant. I told her I had never done a wedding before … but she insisted. About a month after the wedding, and 3 weeks after I get the photos to her, the bride's mother calls me … She then began speaking for the bride saying how she was disappointed in my work. I informed her just like I informed the bride before she hired me that I have never done a wedding before and this was a learning experience for me.
I appreciate her feedback on things I could have done differently but I cannot control how the photos turn out when she prints them. She is insisting I give her the originals for her to crop herself. I worked on her photos for 3 weeks, so to find time to edit these photos was SO hard and took up so much time. I feel so hurt and scared.
I feel like I shouldn't ever pick a camera again. I just don't know what do to. I don't want to give her the originals because the lighting was so harsh with the sun that they needed to be fixed a little, but I also think I should just give them to her anyway so she sees what I put into them. The mother sounded like this wasn't the last I will be hearing from her. Any advice on how to deal with this??
Sincerely,
Hurt and Scared

Dear Hurt and Scared,
I'm sorry this was your first experience with wedding photography…it was an incredibly big deal for both parties involved, but it's especially disconcerting when a bride's mother gets involved. From her perspective–regardless of your past experience–her daughter's day was compromised and she wants to fix what she can.

Before you give the mom the images (if that's what you decide to do), I'd offer to outsource the editing of images to a professional editor to see if they can salvage the photos in a way you might not have been able to. This will also go to show you're willing to go the extra mile to amend a difficult situation. My good friends at Photographer's Edit make photos look great and if you're looking for a 25% discount on your first order, use jstar at checkout.

At the end of the day, the mom believes she can do a better job with correcting and cropping the photos. This, of course, hurts. You're probably second guessing your professional capabilities and while that's normal, I want to encourage you to take a step back. The light might have been harsh, the photos might have been overexposed, maybe the composition was off…maybemaybemaybe. There's nothing you can do to change the past, but you can do everything to mold the future. Before you accept a wedding commission, please second or third shoot a wedding with another photographer. Do this as often as you can. It's vitally important to not take on the responsibility of documenting a wedding (one of the hardest photographic endeavors due to a litany of uncontrollable elements) without having the proper experience and knowledge.

Don't let the past hold you back, but learn from it. Embrace it. Trust you'll do what you can to make things right for the client (even at it comes at a personal cost to your pocketbook) and move forward ready to redefine your dedication to quality.
Learn and Grow,
j*