How to Pose Stiff Clients

Dear Jasmine,
I've been in the industry about five years now. I've heard other photographers say that romantic sessions are their favorites because couples are so in love and easygoing. However, nearly every couple I've photographed shows up to a session nervous, stiff, and full of plastic smiles with jitters. They're rarely down for candid photos and just stare blankly at me despite my efforts. My personality is laid-back, casual, and I try all the tricks to make the couple comfortable – but at some point there's only so much I can do.
How do I educate clients to loosen up? How do I create the candid and intimate sessions I see everywhere?
Sincerely,
Suffering with Stiffs

Dear Suffering with Stiffs,
As much as I'm tempted to offer posing tips (as I've done here, and here, and here), I don't think this would serve to really address the underlying issue. What I suspect is that you haven't had the chance for someone to give you real, honest feedback on your technique.

Most of us think we're great at making people comfortable, but the truth of the matter is that we have no idea just how uncomfortable it is for people to be in front of our cameras. And our clients will be the last to tell us.

So here's what I propose you do:
    1. Ask for Help
Reach out to two sets of couples and ask if you could photograph them. You'll do this for free in exchange for them honestly answering questions about the shoot. Send them a list of questions (8-10) asking for input (ex: Did you feel uncomfortable during the session? If so, then when? Did I say enough to make you feel confident? Are there things I could've done to pose/prompt you better? Etc.) The key is to tell them how much you need their honest input to make your sessions better for clients.

    2. Take Notes
After various photo shoots, go home and write quick notes about what worked and what didn't. You might start seeing patterns once you start documenting your shooting flow. If you start educating yourself, you'll soon realize when you need to shift your approach due to natural cadences during a shoot (ex: halfway through a shoot, I encourage my clients to change their outfit…this helps all of us decompress and alters the vibe when they return).
    3. Do You
More than all else, you need to do you. No matter how silly, stupid, or awkward you feel asking your clients to pose during a shoot, you must do it. I commonly act like a fool during a session demonstrating what I want my clients to do, but I don't care. My actions give my clients the permission to be uninhibited and the freedom to be themselves.

I hope this helps, Suffering with Stiff, and I have no doubt if you employ these three tips, you'll be producing work you love.

Critique Leads to Growth,
j*