I sat with Melanie in the corner of a dark restaurant. So much has changed in the course of our 15-year friendship, yet nothing has. She's still animated and slightly dramatic, and I still make fun of her and ask inappropriate questions. We met freshman year of high school and have been together through every high and low, break up to make up, and bad makeup. She's moving to New York for a bit next week and I don't know what I'll do without her.
We spoke about her therapist (all my friends have therapists…it's very Californian and I may just get one too so I can fit in and feel all cool) and the best way to approach the oncoming changes in her life.
So, my therapist asked where I see myself in five years…I really hated that question…how do I even know?!
What did you say?
I told her I've never been a person who thinks like that…it's just not me. Not now, anyway.
So it ended like that?
No, she rephrased the question and asked how I'd like to “feel” in five years.
To which you replied?
Secure. In five years I want to feel secure
That's a great word. Do you want the last bit of salad or can I finish it?
Then she said that if I wanted to feel secure, I needed to outline ways I could make it become a reality five years…and then start making them happen.
Whoa. I felt like I was having a therapy session (for free!) right then because it was just that simple. Sure, I might not know where, exactly, I want to be in five years (five years ago I couldn't even imagine my life would look like it does now), but I can attribute the emotional connections I want to experience. Once I do, I can ensure the same happens for me.
Mel, I said in between sips of my drink, I want to feel secure too. And challenged. And excited. And then we toasted to us. In five years.
A few weeks ago, Melanie asked if I could photograph a new headshot for her before hitting the streets of New York City. I'm only shooting weddings these days, but she reminded me of that one time she saved me in English Honors of sophomore year of high school…and I had to give in.
I don't wanna get all dinosaur, but RAWR.
Melanie, I hope you know how thankful I am to be your friend.