My Big Mistake (and embarassing lessons)

I had written an entirely different blog post today.  It included references to mermaids and big ideas.

It was cute.  Really, it was.

But it was also pretty boring.

So I scrapped it because I want to share a bit of where I’m at.  Buckle up, it’s getting real.

At the end of last year, I decided to make BIG changes in my life.

I fell into a comfortable pattern of The Norm, and stopped asking WHY.  Why was I creating?  Why was it important?  Why was I running a million miles per hour?

To be honest, I felt myself dipping into the lukewarm waters of depression, something I’ve struggled with for years.

I had made massive progress, but 2022 was a year that handed me a pile of poop.  In a blender.  With a straw.

Instead of venturing down the perilous path of WHY, I started asking myself WHAT.  What did I want to create?  What did I want to do?  What impact could I make?

Last December I sat with my little black notebook and made a list.  At the top of the page, I scribbled, WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BECOME?

What, not who.

I knew who I was, I just lost my way to what I could become.

Exhausted and a little leery of my 2023 plan, I closed my little black notebook and joined JD for dinner. We sat in a red booth at A Restaurant, where I spotted—in the corner of the restaurant—a sign. BELIEVE. God gave me a sign. Literally.

I decided I wanted to start speaking professionally.  I’d spoken on stages around the world, but at the start of 2023, I decided to get agency representation.  How?  No idea, but I made a list of ways to begin the search.  Surprising news:  I’ll be signing with an incredible agency this week.

I decided I needed support in bigger ways.  I searched for masterminds and joined four groups in the last two months.

I decided to change my health journey.  I invested in a gut specialist to help me find answers to decades of questions and frustration.  I’m slowly feeling better, and it makes me hopeful (this was a photo I snapped on Day 30 of my new treatment plan).

I decided to spend time with people I love the most.  This meant setting definitive times on my calendar to have family dinners, complete with a never-ending basket of tortillas, four different salsas, and at least one sibling singing Tejano music by Selena.  (SELEEENASSSS… iykyk.)

It’s February 2023.  The changes have begun.  And it feels…well…better.

There are days when I struggle with the Unknown, but I continue to take bold steps toward what I’ll become.

I’ll be sharing the journey as it unveils, but I simply want to say thanks.  Thank you for giving me the space to be myself, even if I’m learning what, exactly, that is.

This is also a reminder that you, too, have the power to decide what you’ll become.  I hope we get to change, together.

Your friend,