Kisses and Disses : Wipes + The World Cup

Kisses and Disses : Wipes + The World Cup


He’s what I call a Marketer’s Dream. He’s the kind of person NYC marketers sit in their corner boardrooms and dream about. He’s the kind of guy that likes to be sold to. And he also happens to be my husband. JD loves anything and everything that’s packaged, jingled, and cha-chinged. And it’s the most annoying thing. Ever. I mean, when waitresses see him, they know his kind. They offer the pureed strawberry lemonade, the signature appetizers, and chived sour cream for only $2.00 more. And he always says yes. Oh, because it’s SIGNATURE.

I’ve grown accustomed to this behavior. Kinda. Yesterday I walked in from the gym and Polo did his happy wiggle. I got on the floor and kissed him, like always. I called him Stinker…then JD asked me if Polo was really stinky. Because he has something for that. For stinkyness, I ask. JD then offers the following:

Wipes. WIPES?!? Now, that’s just too much. Some bald, bellied man in NYC is laughing in his boardroom when he realizes JD actually BOUGHT THE WIPES. Because, really? Who buys wipes for their dog?! Oh, my little Marketer’s Dream.

This leads me to another installment of Kisses and Disses

This week’s DISSES go to:
*Bald, bellied marketers in NYC who sell dog wipes.
*Husbands who buy said wipes.
*Receiving newsletters I never subscribed to. It drives me irrationally crazy.

This week’s KISSES go to:
*The World Cup. Because, really, how can those players look so rawr after 90 minutes of running, sweating, and pretend-fouling?
*This American Life podcast. I’m obsessed with Ira Glass. I listen to him while I work and we’re a pretend couple. In my mind. Which is so normal.
*Martha Stewart wall paint. My bathroom is now Persimmon thanks to Martha’s line at Home Depot. Oh, what? You think persimmon sounds fancy? IT SO IS.

Happy Tuesday!

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  1. Julia Avina -

    Mrs. Star you crack me up. There is something that I see everyone who knows you feels CONNECTED to you. Your energy and truth telling are real and I am glad I can read your stories work and personal on your Blogity Blog.

      6.29.10 - 5:40 pm

  2. Cherisse -

    You and JD crack me up! You two are perfect for eachother!! Kisses & Disses are the best.

      6.29.10 - 5:42 pm

  3. Jonathan -

    Haha!! Jasmine, I’ve just recently started following your blog, and even though I’m not a photographer myself, I still think you are hilarious and awesome!! Thanks sharing all your great stories and especially great photos!!

      6.29.10 - 5:44 pm

  4. Christine Meintjes Photography -

    I just wanted to say…I LOVE the way you write! Can I come for lessons 🙂

      6.29.10 - 5:44 pm

  5. Nancy -

    We’re dog sitting at the moment and my super clean floors can’t handle it after taking the dog out. So I was thinking of buying dog wipes, sigh.

    Yay for the world cup!

    Hope you feel better soon, all is better when Jasmine is well.

      6.29.10 - 5:44 pm

  6. Casi -

    Persimmon is fancy…you can have your signature too…just like JD has his fancy dog wipes that were created by the bald, bellied man you speak of.

      6.29.10 - 5:47 pm

  7. angel pope -

    🙂 Luvs!

      6.29.10 - 5:48 pm

  8. blair -

    I’m afraid that Ira and I are already in love. I dream that we’re a couple and he tells me bedtime stories in his" This American Life" way as I fall asleep at night 🙂

      6.29.10 - 5:49 pm

  9. lroah -

    Oh I think I just fell off my chair laughing about JD buying the wipes. Hilarious. SUCKER!!!!

      6.29.10 - 5:50 pm

  10. Kristina -

    Oooohhh Martha Stewart has her own paint??? Well OF COURSE she does…. LOVE the "sharkey gray". Paint color names are always the deciding factor for me. 🙂 And those wipes are awesome, use them on my dog all the time.

      6.29.10 - 5:50 pm

  11. Jesse Holland -

    I am so with you on Ira Glass! I pretend to edit photos while listening to him; I usually just end up sitting in front of my computer listening. Radio lab is pretty good too, but you may already know that.

      6.29.10 - 5:51 pm

  12. Veronica -

    I am with you on disliking scammy marketers. Though the wipes are a good idea for a dog without any undercoat (like Italian Greyhounds, Mastiffs) who only need a chamois cloth wipedown for their grooming… I just don’t know why people don’t use something non-disposable and save the waste.

      6.29.10 - 5:51 pm

  13. Jessica -

    Hey! I bought wipes for my dog.. Now, they weren’t dog wipes. They were baby wipes. He’s a Maltese and supposed to be white… The wipes attempt to keep him that color if he happens to get dirty outside. Don’t worry, JD. I have your back. 😉

      6.29.10 - 5:54 pm

  14. Renee -

    had to LOL when i read about the wipes. we have a lhasa apso and a shih tzu and my husband bought the exact. same. wipes. i’m not sure if it’s good or bad to know there are two of them out there.

      6.29.10 - 6:00 pm

  15. Romonia -

    I love it! Can’t believe JD bought dog wipes for Polo! 😉

      6.29.10 - 6:04 pm

  16. Mikkel -

    Love This American Life! I’ll have to subscribe to the podcast!

      6.29.10 - 6:06 pm

  17. Alli Mc -

    Yipee for the World Cup…and pretend-fouling…hysterical!

      6.29.10 - 6:09 pm

  18. Tracy -

    So true Jasmine! Wipes are awful – who buys those things anyway – its a fake doggy wash! And I heart Ira Glass and your blogs….my bf and I aspire to be wedding photogs like you one day!

      6.29.10 - 6:12 pm

  19. bree -

    Reggie has the wipes too!! Give them a chance- its so much easier than a bath! I’m with JD on this one 🙂

      6.29.10 - 6:48 pm

  20. Cindy A. -

    Hahaha I have 2 little stinkers at home and both will remain wipe-free! *Le sigh* I heart futbol players…

      6.29.10 - 6:49 pm

  21. Lydia -

    I’ve got Martha Stewart’s butter cream yellow downstairs from way back when, and it’s just dreamy!

      6.29.10 - 6:53 pm

  22. Kelly Trimble -

    Pretend fouling….hahahah.
    You should have Dissed those annoying noise makers though! Really so tired of it sounding like a swarm of bees in my house!

      6.29.10 - 7:07 pm

  23. Jennie Renaudo -

    Ha! My husband got those for our dogs AND his mom’s cat.

      6.29.10 - 7:10 pm

  24. LEOLAK -

    HILARIIOUS on the wipes…and JD buying them! Maybe they figured it’s less work than washing them all the time?!?! No…ok. I hear you on getting things you didn’t subscribe too…annoying! Have a good day.

      6.29.10 - 7:11 pm

  25. Amy Hummel -

    My husband is the opposite. My "kiss" goes to Pottery Barn paint.

      6.29.10 - 7:19 pm

  26. Lindsay -

    My boyfriend is THE SAME!! Will buy anything. Can be sold on anything. Drives me bonkers. Me: They’re going to try to sell you that, don’t buy it, you don’t need it.
    Him: Of course not. Don’t be ridiculous, I am not going to buy that.
    Me (later): How did it go?
    Him: I bought it.

      6.29.10 - 7:27 pm

  27. Mireille -

    Yeah for the World Cup. Netherlands got through to the quarter final. I am watching Spain vs Portugal right now. Indeed Rawr and that is just after 10 minutes of play!!

      6.29.10 - 7:41 pm

  28. Adam J -

    Sounds like me. Although not sure even I would fall for stinky dog wipes! Awesome post.

      6.29.10 - 7:42 pm

  29. Carol -

    1. Loving your "rawr" comment about soccer players — SOOO True! 2. I too, am obsessed w/This American Life and Ira Glass! … 3. You are just awesome!

      6.29.10 - 8:25 pm

  30. Mavi -

    Thanks for the laugh! And I agree, who doesn’t enjoy watching Villa, Higuain and Ronaldo all sweaty on the field =)

      6.29.10 - 8:27 pm

  31. Life with Kaishon -

    My husband is exactly the same way. A marketers dream. I can’t tell you how many ridiculous things we have because of him : ) Oh well. I am sure if I email him this post, he would come home tonight with some cat wipes. Kid you not.

      6.29.10 - 8:43 pm

  32. Kelli Taylor -

    You crack me up!

      6.29.10 - 9:01 pm

  33. Ty -

    How amazing is This American Life. Check out the dvd’s from showtime.

      6.29.10 - 9:11 pm

  34. Catie Ronquillo -

    I LOVE This American Life. I listened to a couple of shows yesterday on my plane ride back to Dallas from San Francisco. I also feel smarter after listening. Last year my cousin and I ran into Ira Glass in the street near NYU. I didn’t really know who he was back then, but now I’m very familiar! We will be frequenting Home Depot this weekend, we’re painting too!

      6.29.10 - 9:35 pm

  35. amanda thiessen -

    the world cup has definitely been eye catching hahah but total diss to the refs who were making ridiculous calls!! boo!!

      6.29.10 - 9:35 pm

  36. Melissa Papaj Photography -

    You are too funny. I cannot beleive they have dog wipes, but I know lots of people who woud buy them in a heart beat – my mother-in-law for one 🙂

      6.29.10 - 9:50 pm

  37. Karen Taggart -

    My husband bought the dog wipes too! He says our wiener dog is "sweaty". Hahaha 🙂

      6.29.10 - 9:59 pm

  38. Girl in The White Dress -

    Wondering what the "8 in 1" could be!!? 1) cleans, 2) deodorizes, 3) feeds the dog, 4) toilet trains him, 5) makes your bed in the morning, 6) is your second shooter at weddings, 7) cooks dinner, 8) answers the phone?….

      6.29.10 - 10:24 pm

  39. shani barel-desser -

    I am so guilty of ALL of the above, my apologies….

      6.29.10 - 10:29 pm

  40. Kelsey Anderson -

    The question is do the wipes work? If so then you have to cut JD a bit of slack lol

      6.29.10 - 10:33 pm

  41. gladys jem -

    hahahaha, jd is awesome! gotta love it!

      6.29.10 - 11:13 pm

  42. Connie Sithi -

    Pretend fouling! LOL!!! Yea, they have serious RAWR factor goin’ on. Love you, J*! I think I’ve turned all my coworkers into J* fans, too. woot woot

      6.29.10 - 11:58 pm

  43. kristin @ the treasured petal -

    ummm we have dog wipes, too! joe bought them and diligently wipes pesto and basil after walks or dog park jaunts. joe is definitely in charge of keeping our mutts clean and odor free. my guess is that someday he’ll be the one changing the diapers and doing the baby butt wiping, too!

      6.30.10 - 12:28 am

  44. Sarah -

    I’m with JD on this one. Dog wipes?! Sweet! We have been using baby wipes to clean our dog in-between baths.

      6.30.10 - 1:36 am

  45. laetitia -

    heu… the world cup, seriously…!!! as a french (yeh I said it again), I would say this is a bad bad world cup… what a shame for France. We are known to do strike all the tim, and this is true, but soccer players who are paid millions to play and rpresent the nation are going on strike 2 days before playing the world cup !!!!!???? what a shame for french people, especially when we won the 98 world cup we should act better (and play better too) … so for me this world cup is a diss… big time !

      6.30.10 - 4:08 am

  46. erika -

    But the wipes WORK! Well, they’re awesome for cats who hate baths. A dog might need more than a wipe…

      6.30.10 - 4:09 am

  47. Rita -

    EXCUSE me Jasmine, but your husband is very smart to buy the wipes!

      6.30.10 - 4:41 am

  48. s h e r r y -

    Hahaha JD is awesome! I am totally one of those people too. I often feel compelled to go out and go GET stuff after seeing it on a commercial. (baaaad).

      6.30.10 - 5:10 am

  49. laetitia -

    I come back because I was so angry with this world cup that I forgot to speak about those wipes… I do not use wipes on my babies to be green, so on dogs … I think this is first of all hilarious that somebody thought of doing those, but sad that some people would buy them !

      6.30.10 - 1:41 pm

  50. Sarah Danaher -

    I totally agree about the World Cup.

      6.30.10 - 4:23 pm

  51. Candace Prokopets -

    Oh, that is too funny! Vitaliy is the same way. He brought home a mop once and spent 30 minutes basically replaying the entire sales pinch to me of why he bought it. Too funny!

      6.30.10 - 4:45 pm

  52. Lora Ayers -

    Those wipes , are hilarious! I can’t even imagine that you’d really want to cover your dog in the "fresh scent". I feel a headache coming on. 🙂

      6.30.10 - 5:21 pm

  53. kortnee kate and ted -

    My sister bought wipes for her cats. She was DESPERATE to curb the cat stink in her home… which made her an easy target for the bald guy in NYC!!! 🙂

      6.30.10 - 6:00 pm

  54. Steff -

    Oh JD, if you must must must, buy baby wipes. They are good for all sorts of things. Where as there isn’t as much appeal with wiping your hands off with dog wipes, is there? Baby wipes make more sense too, then Polo would get to smell like a baby. Who doesn’t love that? Live and learn, JD.

      6.30.10 - 7:16 pm

  55. Carol -

    Actually the wipes are really useful for pets that just got spayed/neutered/surgery because they can’t have baths, but they might be stinky!

      6.30.10 - 7:27 pm

  56. flo -

    haha i totally agree with the world cup kiss… lol *sigh*
    martha stewart paint is sooo pretty!

      6.30.10 - 8:31 pm

  57. Crystal -

    I’m not gonna lie… I’m pretty sure there is a pack of those around our house. No joke… Sigh. lol. (It rained for two weeks straight this spring and they were used to wipe off muddy paws…)

      6.30.10 - 10:10 pm

  58. Erika -

    Too funny. I have to admit to you that we buy the wipes for our dogs too. We wipe them when they come in from outside because I refuse to have them track in dirt and get it on our furniture or bed. I know it is kinda OCD right? haha.

      6.30.10 - 11:39 pm

  59. Katelyn James -

    ohhh wall paint!!! We have alot of that coming our way:) Maybe we’ll check out martha for our new little cape cod!!:)

      7.1.10 - 4:08 pm

  60. Truc -

    Hahaha, the wipes are hilarious!

      7.2.10 - 11:46 pm

  61. Tracy -

    Ha! I had no idea that dog wipes existed…

      9.3.10 - 10:34 pm

  62. Dalton -

    lol. Apparently there is a market for everything these days.

      10.4.15 - 7:23 pm

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