Kisses and Disses : Wipes + The World Cup


He’s what I call a Marketer’s Dream. He’s the kind of person NYC marketers sit in their corner boardrooms and dream about. He’s the kind of guy that likes to be sold to. And he also happens to be my husband. JD loves anything and everything that’s packaged, jingled, and cha-chinged. And it’s the most annoying thing. Ever. I mean, when waitresses see him, they know his kind. They offer the pureed strawberry lemonade, the signature appetizers, and chived sour cream for only $2.00 more. And he always says yes. Oh, because it’s SIGNATURE.

I’ve grown accustomed to this behavior. Kinda. Yesterday I walked in from the gym and Polo did his happy wiggle. I got on the floor and kissed him, like always. I called him Stinker…then JD asked me if Polo was really stinky. Because he has something for that. For stinkyness, I ask. JD then offers the following:

Wipes. WIPES?!? Now, that’s just too much. Some bald, bellied man in NYC is laughing in his boardroom when he realizes JD actually BOUGHT THE WIPES. Because, really? Who buys wipes for their dog?! Oh, my little Marketer’s Dream.

This leads me to another installment of Kisses and Disses

This week’s DISSES go to:
*Bald, bellied marketers in NYC who sell dog wipes.
*Husbands who buy said wipes.
*Receiving newsletters I never subscribed to. It drives me irrationally crazy.

This week’s KISSES go to:
*The World Cup. Because, really, how can those players look so rawr after 90 minutes of running, sweating, and pretend-fouling?
*This American Life podcast. I’m obsessed with Ira Glass. I listen to him while I work and we’re a pretend couple. In my mind. Which is so normal.
*Martha Stewart wall paint. My bathroom is now Persimmon thanks to Martha’s line at Home Depot. Oh, what? You think persimmon sounds fancy? IT SO IS.

Happy Tuesday!