Kisses+Disses : Christmas Lights + Passport Photos


Sometimes he drives by it reeeeeeal slow. And then back again slowly to park in our garage. Our house is illuminated with Christmas lights this time of year with thanks to JD. Last year we didn’t put up lights because he boycotted in light of the debacle the previous year. Yeah. That was the year I got all Griswold Christmas on him and begged him to cover–no, drench–our house in lights. He spent the entire day on the roof, second story, in between trees to ensure he didn’t have to hear me ask for more lights on that bald patch by the kitchen window.

When sunset arrived, we walked outside, turned on the lights and it felt like a Hallmark commercial. A few hours later, our sprinklers turned on and blew an open fuse, resulting in 90% of our lights to not work. And we couldn’t fix it. It felt like a Hallmark commercial set to heavy metal music.

This year JD rigged extension cords to avoid another outage, but I can’t figure why. He decided to take a minimalist approach to lights this year. As in JUST OUR BUSHES. Who does that?! We have what I refer to as the Almost-Just-Kidding-Tricked-You-Didn’t-I Christmas lights.

Last week, while walking the dog at night, I saw our house in the distance. And our illuminated bushes. JD read my thoughts, asked me to look down the entire street, and see if there was a house more decorated than ours. Ever the optimist he turned to me and said, You see?! Our bushes are the best decorated bushes on the block!

Cue the Hallmark music and let’s get into another installment of Kisses and Disses

This week’s DISSES go to…
*The Tourist. Wow, that movie was painful. When a high speed chase is done in a boat moving 12 miles per hour, you know the rest of the film is going to be brutal.
*Almost-Just-Kidding-Tricked-You-Didn’t-I Christmas lights.
*The Line at the Post Office. I actually read a few chapters of a book waiting to send a package. I should’ve brought my own chair.

This week’s KISSES go to…
*Online Christmas Shopping. I can’t believe I waited this long to indulge. It’s renewed my Christmas cheer, because, really, is there anything better than shopping in pajamas and slippers?!
*New Passport Photos. I needed to renew my passport and I was terribly excited. My last photo looked like a mug shot. Not simply because it was upclose and unflattering, but I looked like a hard core Mexican gangster. I am beyond serious.
*Having the Most Decorated Bushes on the Block. (and a cute husband who rigs extension cords!)

Happy Thursday!

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  1. Gail

    December 16th, 2010 at 5:10 pm

    Oh man..the trailer alone for The Tourist was painful. I’m sorry you had to sit through the whole 2 hours of it. And what is UP with Angelina’s hair? And Johnny’s face? (Rewatch Chocolate and all will be restored)

    And I love the post office-with-a-book anecdote. Girl, that is so me!

    PS – Have yo uwatched the trailer yet for Water for Elephants? Now THIS, my friend, looks like a pretty movie!!

  2. Jill Swank

    December 16th, 2010 at 5:14 pm

    If you post your passport pictures, I’ll show you mine.

  3. Jennifer Jar

    December 16th, 2010 at 5:15 pm

    I hate my passport photo too! It’s like they zoomed in as far as they could on my face and made it look like a planet!

  4. joanna kapica

    December 16th, 2010 at 5:15 pm

    Awesome! looks like you guys, with those bushes nicely decorated are almost ready for Christmas!
    Merry Christmas to you, Jasmine and JD!

  5. Tiffany Lauderdale

    December 16th, 2010 at 5:16 pm

    Love the disses and kisses. We usually have a Griswold house too, but due to moving and losing most of our lights we kinda have a Charlie Brown Christmas Tree YARD, lol!! Merry Christmas!!!!

  6. Irela

    December 16th, 2010 at 5:27 pm

    Jasmine….you have been the bright spot in my ho-hum day. Thank you for sharing your day with us and brightning mine. (just HAD to share )

  7. ashley

    December 16th, 2010 at 5:34 pm

    oh jasmine, you are too funny. i so hope to meet you one day! and YES, the tourist was total c-r-u-d.

  8. amanda

    December 16th, 2010 at 5:35 pm

    you must post the before and after passport photos, lol.

  9. Jenny Tobler

    December 16th, 2010 at 5:38 pm

    We only have one window decorated with lights at my house… lol. So enjoy the bushes that have lights at yours. 🙂 Husbands are great, aren’t they?

  10. Mikaela

    December 16th, 2010 at 5:42 pm

    Doesn’t matter if you’re writing a kiss + diss post or a wedding of fabulousness…you have mad writing skills and I love it. Though I’m thoroughly disappointed about the The Tourist… Happy Thursday!!

  11. Lynn Childs

    December 16th, 2010 at 5:44 pm

    Happy Holidays to J* & JD .. you inspire me!!!!

  12. Life with Kaishon

    December 16th, 2010 at 6:03 pm

    I love that your bushes are festive : ) love. Love. Love.

  13. Marge E

    December 16th, 2010 at 6:31 pm

    I could not stop laughing — so you are a real ‘Ese’ aren’t you? LOL

  14. Artemis Clover: The real L.A. love story.

    December 16th, 2010 at 6:55 pm

    need to go to the post office today. been putting it off but ugh i really have to!!
    saw your video post and i thoroughly enjoyed. please post more and thank you for keeping things real. i know sometimes things are not comfortable to do when you don’t know how your audience will respond but kudos for doing it and looks like a unanimous yes!

  15. Lydia

    December 16th, 2010 at 7:00 pm

    I’m just hoping to get a line of icicle lights across my front porch. There’s nothing quite like coming down your driveway to a house beautifully lit by Christmas lights!

  16. Lisa Cour

    December 16th, 2010 at 7:21 pm

    Online Christmas shopping? A-Men!!

  17. Amanda

    December 16th, 2010 at 7:22 pm

    I felt like a GENIUS last night. I hit the post office at 7:30pm and there was zero line at the automated mailing machine thingy. I was in and out in under 5 minutes! (It did mean my evening glass of wine didn’t happen until almost 8pm, but it was worth it!)

  18. Jackie Lamas

    December 16th, 2010 at 7:33 pm

    big Diss to The Tourist. I expected way more too and was disappointed. But yay to your lit bushes 🙂

  19. alison

    December 16th, 2010 at 9:24 pm

    Oh no! I was totally looking forward to seeing The Tourist! How can a movie go so wrong with Johnny Depp?!

  20. Cindee Elmer

    December 16th, 2010 at 9:41 pm

    This post made me think of a similar conversation my sister and bro-in-law had this year. She wanted lights to compare with their Griswoldesque neighbors. He agreed. I am emailing you a photo of what he came up with right now! Somehow I don’t think it was what my sister was imagining.

  21. kay*

    December 17th, 2010 at 12:41 am

    haha! in canada we are specifically told NOT to smile for our passport photos….so everyone ends up looking like miserable gangsters lol. even kids. & you’ve just confirmed what i knew – the tourist blows. my 2 fave hollywood celebs and that’s the best script hollywood could come up with for them?!?!? i’m so disappointed.

  22. Jessica Rodriguez

    December 17th, 2010 at 12:53 am

    So jealous that you have Christmas lights on your bushes. I do not have any Christmas lights outside on our brand new house. His deffense is that we just moved in! I said that is not fair at all. Maybe next year he said…

  23. Julie O'Dell

    December 17th, 2010 at 1:24 am


  24. Kelsey Anderson

    December 17th, 2010 at 3:24 am

    LOL well your house is decorated better then ours. My husband hasn’t even put our lights up and I am starting to think it isn’t happening this year. LAME!

  25. liz

    December 17th, 2010 at 4:01 am

    you think online shopping is great? you should try click & ship from the post office. you pay for your package postage online from home and schedule them to pick it up- changed my shipping world! But then again, I don’t read much 🙂

  26. Michelle Hebert

    December 17th, 2010 at 6:50 am

    Just make sure JD takes the Christmas lights down off the bushes after Christmas. My parents leave their’s on ALL year round…ahem…can we say ghetto?!? My son calls my mom’s house, the Christmas house. So sad!

  27. Vincent

    December 17th, 2010 at 9:51 am

    You’re a nutter and adorable…you remind me of my wife

  28. Lindsay

    December 17th, 2010 at 3:27 pm

    Tell me about the post office!?! Twice this week I’ve had to stand in a ridiculously long queue whilst carrying a 17lb baby! Must remember to take a book next time!

  29. Chris Aram

    December 17th, 2010 at 6:20 pm

    There is no better way to shop than For anyone. Anywhere. At any time. You’ll forgive yourself for your credit card statement … eventually. 😀

  30. Jenni

    December 17th, 2010 at 7:03 pm

    Have you ever stood in line in an ITALIAN post office? Never again will I complain of American post offices, even during the holidays. haha… 🙂

  31. amanda thiessen

    December 17th, 2010 at 8:33 pm

    online shopping has been my savior this year!!

  32. Cherie Hogan

    December 18th, 2010 at 12:21 am

    The Tourist! WORST MOVIE I’ve seen lately… well, besides Here After (with Matt Damon). I mean, really, why did they have to make everyones (even women) head turn when Angelina walked by? Cheesy!

  33. Jenn Regruth

    December 18th, 2010 at 1:56 pm

    Please, can we see your old passport photo? I am convinced a bad picture of you does not exist!!!! 😉