I sat across the table from JD on the verge of tears. Three straight days of reviewing my photo portfolio had left me drained. I'd been compiling photos for my new website and I was dumbstruck with how awful I felt. It's as if my shortcomings as a photographer were splayed out before my eyes and I struggled to make sense of it.

I had viewed thousands of images and instead of feeling reassured of my photographic ability, I doubted it. You felt the same way the last time you compiled images for your website, JD said as he forked another portion of dinner into his moving mouth. I pushed my plate away and then cried.

The only thing missing was flashing red lights because, people, I was in FULL BREAKDOWN MODE.

JD then asked me for a favor: can you please write down how you're feeling now so the next time you review your portfolio, I can remind you that, yes, we've gone through this before. Okay, so, fine.

I feel inextricably broken. On the inside. A place so deep I wonder how I've been able to submerge the feelings of inadequacy for so long. As a creative, I struggle to do my best but what happens when I feel like it's not enough? I worry every mean thing people have said about my work is true. I want to get better–want my work to reflect who I am–but I wonder how I get there…does one ever get there? Is artistic satisfaction an elusive idea or something attainable?

The next day, I came across the following quote on the Internet…

I was reminded to take a deep breath and know it's part of a process…a long, arduous, sometimes heart-wrenching process, but a journey I'm slowly making.